scams

I can deal with a lot of things, but i REALLY have a passionate dislike for networks who play commercials LOUDER than the tv show/movie. All of a sudden they go to commercial and BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM the volume hits you like a brick wall and you're like WHAT THE HECK!!????

For a long time now the networks are wasting their supposed scam on me.

I found a cure to the insensitive and annoying marketing scam of the century.

It's called the mute button!

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

(i couldnt resist posting this one)

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully,'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree . . . .

hey mom, when you gonna be done in there??!!

I cant even go to the bathroom alone these days.

my absense

My absence in the last 15 days, as most of you are aware, is related to my health. About 10 days ago I came down with a nasty cold which morphed through several seasons all on its own, from sore throat to back drip to nasal congestion and now a cough and laryngitis. All of this was accompanied by insomnia and/or inability to sleep despite complete and utter exhaustion.

But in addition to my current germ battle, also comes another battle for my attention: Facebook. That’s right, I have facebookitis. I’m addicted to facebook. And it’s been particularly challenging since most of my family and friends and almost all my blog friends are on my friends list and casually updating their page every day with pictures, quotes, comments etc. I’m glued to their every move, trying to keep up with their world (in addition to my own). In the non-web-world this would be considered “nosey-neighbor” behavior; like the old lady next door who’s dog barks at every opportunity and soon after, her little beady eyes are staring at me from her first floor window. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my neighbor. She’s a doll and to be perfectly honest, it’s nice having a “free” security system permanently installed on my block.

And I suppose her behavior is somewhat acceptable at her age, when she has nothing better to do than watch what others are doing and have an opinion about it. I particularly find this beneficial when I want to catch up on my gossip in the neighborhood. She knows everyone and everything….good and bad.

Like how the couple across the street are getting a divorce and that the husband moved out last spring.

Or how the family diagonal from her are going on a vacation to Vermont for 10 days (and that she’s offered to pick up their mail and newspapers so it doesn’t look like the house is empty).

Or how the old man down the road bought a new dog from the dog shop in town (which has since been closed down by the Health Department or something) and how he “illegally” let’s it wander through the neighborhood. This pisses her off to no end, let me tell you!

She’s also on the up-and-up on who bought and sold what house in the area and her history as a healthcare professional shines through when she shares her advice on healthy eating and the “good” doctors to go to in the area for certain medical problems. She’s also pretty knowledgeable about home remedies and has even offered me her pram to walk the baby in the summer.

I often wonder if I’ll end up just like her in my old age…staring out my window and taking notes of everyone’s coming and going behavior. Then again… one might already attribute this behavior with a more modern disease…that’s right… facebookitis. I think I just aged about 50 years without even realizing it.

the little things

How bad is it when you get excited about going to the gas station and asking the attendant to "fill 'er up"?

$1.99 a gallon people! I feel like we are on the brink of something bad here.

belly shot - almost 26 weeks

well..here it is... i feel like a bowling ball! LOL

just in case you thought you had time...

The ultimate vacation...unless your pregnant!

The world isn’t coming to an end. The election is done. My life isn't in shambles. And even the pregnancy, as much pain as I am in, is tolerable. I see an end in sight which is comforting. But what i am a little disappointed in is the fact that I am leaving for vacation this weekend. No, not about the vacation itself, but more of the fact that my activities are limited.

For one, I’m going to Florida, where there will be swimming and pool lounging throughout the week. (Ahhhh sunshine!!!)I'm hoping the bathing suit I bought earlier this summer (slightly bigger than necessary) will fit me. I only bought it earlier because i needed a new one desparately before i went to Tampa with my mom for a weekend. Certain areas on my body have "ballooned" into maddness...both upper and lower areas. I'll probably be busting out on top and hoping my lower half only FEELS bigger from the front (and not the back). But that aside, I wont be able to do one of my favorite all time things: hot-tubbing!! Apparently it's bad for the baby to wade in scolding hot water until you pass out. Go figure! :)

Second, Rob and I are heading to Disney for two days on our own (the rest of my family will be in Tampa) and there will be certain rides I will have to forego. Rides i love to go on... like Mission Space or the Rockin' Roller Coaster. Rides that i would love to share with my new husband since we haven’t been to Disney together yet. But I’ll probably end up waiting online with him and slipping through the “I’m too scared (or pregnant in my case)” door to meet him on the other side. He’s actually been supportive of this and has offered that we stick to MGM Studios and Animal Kingdom this year where there are more “pregnant speed” rides and shows that we can both enjoy. Of course the next time we head back, We'll have a 1 1/2 year old to contend with, but "doing disney" through the eyes of a child is SOOO much fun!

In addition to that, my ability to walk for more than an hour has deteriorated to just about NADA! My feet swell. My hands swell. And my back…oh my back…. Some nights I get out of bed to take one of my many trips to the bathroom and I can barely stand on one leg my back hurts so much. Not cool. Trust me. So, I’ll end up looking like some fat chick who has never done a day of exercise in her life who relies on a wheel chair to get her around because she’s too lazy to walk. LOVELY! I was thinking about making up some T-shirts that say “1.5 humans on board this motorized vehicle”. It’s all in fun and somewhat amusing .... but it's not, if you know what I mean.

Se La Vie!

Happy Turkey day to all incase I don’t talk to you!

To Whom it May Concern

To Whom it May Concern at the New York State Democratic office,

Over the last 4-5 weeks I have had 5 different people visit my house offering information and soliciting my vote for Brian Foley (running for NYS Senate). My personal feelings regarding Mr. Foley and his inability to run Brookhaven town are completely irrelevant at this point. His continued visits to our home have been excessive and bothersome. One particular visit included a knock at our door at 8:30pm in the evening on a weekday. I told the young man to make sure we dont receive any more house calls. In addition, i sent an email to Mr. Foley telling him not to come to my house anymore. Apparently the voice of his local people doesn't matter as much as he claims because this evening we recieved yet ANOTHER house call.

I think this is completely unacceptable behavior and Mr. Foley has lost my vote.

I have been a devout democrat for many years, but consider this my official resignation to the party!


Signed,

You-know-who from you-know-where!

____________________________________________

After I sent this email to the NYS Democrats, i forwarded it to the local paper near me who asked if they could print it in this week's paper. I agreed. I also asked if he know where i could lodge a complaint. He gave me this information.

Suffolk County Democratic Chair Richard Schaffer at 439-0400

do not call.... PLEASE

Rob and I recently changed over to cable phone and since then have been the butt of every single telemarketer call across the country. While we were away this weekend (friday evening to Sunday), we recieved telemarketing calls from 12 different phone numbers.

12 DIFFERENT NUMBERS!!!!

One in particular has been a bothersome and rather annoying experience. A company called General Warranty Services based out of Massachusetts and New Hampshire has been calling us continually every other day with an automated voice message.

In typical fashion, we hang up before even listening to the whole message, but lately it's gotten so bad that i waited on the line for a live representative to find out what the deal was. When a girl came on the phone I immediately began to request to be removed from the call list and that i was very agrevated about the number of calls we are receiving. She hung up on me mid-sentence. I was FURIOUS! Nevermind that i thought it was my husband and ran down the hall butt naked and searched frantically through a pile of stuff to find the phone!! (sorry for the visual! LOL)

So i vowed the next time they called that I would try and weasel my way in by playing along and giving them fake information.

My plan worked.

I now have the name of the company and the phone number. I looked them up on Better Business Bureau website and just as I suspected, they have had several complaints lodged against them. I am considering filing a formal complaint but when the guy on the other line was far more cooperative and polite and apologetic about our request, i decided against it an to wait and see if they actually call again.

Has anyone gotten any calls from a company called General Warranty Services (781)569-1000? Just curious. http://www.generalwarrantyservices.com/ is their website.

The other thing I looked up was the official DO NOT CALL list registration. Senator LaValle announced it a few years back and so I knew it was official. It's also regulated by the FTC (http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/alerts/alt107.shtm).

If anyone is interested in registering their phone number (INCLUDING CELL PHONE NUMBERS), visit www.donotcall.gov

there's a soccer game in my tummy

I spent the first half of this pregnancy anticipating the day i would feel those precious little hands and feet wiggle and kick in side me. I was so miserable that it was all i could think of to get me through the nausea and fatigue and whatever else came my way in the early weeks.

Well, now it's here... now that i have finally discovered what its like to be kicked "from the inside". About 4 weeks ago I started feeling little "flutters" of movement in my stomach and like most people on their first child, it was hard to tell the difference between that and... you know... gas! lol.

Now four weeks later... and there nothing that stands in my way of knowing the difference between a kick and a bubble blub-blubbing through my intestines. He's quite strong, i promise you, and for some reason is up to par on his anatomy. I'm not sure who taught him but he seems to know exactly where my bladder is! Have you ever seen a cartoon - like Tom and Jerry - where Tom is blindly stomping down on a box or a rabbit hole trying to get into where ever Jerry is?? Stomp stomp stomp... Until he gets through. Well, I swear thats what this little kid is doing to me. He wants out and i keep telling him its a little early ..... which in turn ensues a tempertantrum... again.. on my bladder.

There have been several sleepless nights for me in the last week or so because this little boogerhead kicks me ALL NIGHT LONG! And I'm not embellishing the truth. I lay in bed with my hands on my belly feeling those little legs and arms flailing about. I've even started feeling when he turns inside me. So last night, when we got into bed, he was kicking me again like crazy so I grabbed Rob's hand and said...don't move. Sure enough, 1 - 2 - 3 kicks... all in a row. Rob grinned from ear to ear. It was the first time he felt the baby kick and in his next breath he said "no wonder your not sleeping". Well... i told ya! LOL. You think i complain for the sake of complaining?

He does let me sleep on occasion, though. Today, on my day off, I woke with Rob, made him breakfast (because i'm a good wife that way) and then back to bed i went after he left for work. Both baby and I slept for 2 1/2 hours this morning. Best sleep I've had in quite a few weeks actually (and baby is still sleeping).

Last week when I went in for my monthly check up, i mentioned to the doctor that the baby was kicking A LOT! I don't know what i expected him to say...."would you like me to give the baby a sedative?" would have made for an interesting conversation that's for sure and.... "can you do that?" would have been my rather odd reply. An awful thing to even suggest and I only make light of it because what he DID say gave me great perspective.

I remember several years ago - we're talking 12 plus years - I was doing observation time at Stonybrook Hospital for my EMT certification when a young lady came in for some sort of treatment. She must have been about my age at the time and at least 6-7 months pregnant. I watched the nurse put one of those doplar things around her belly to monitor the heartbeat and several seconds later we all heard the little thump thump on the speaker. The young girl began to cry.

"what's wrong?"

"it's just that the baby hasn't moved or anything in some time, I wondered if there was something wrong".

-----------

Flash forward to me laying on the examination table last week. The doctor turned to me and said "it must be reassuring to feel your baby kick all the time". Of course my mind drifted back instantly to that young girl in the ER and i began to tear up.

He's right. He's SO right. On so many levels. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of women who would trade places with me a heartbeat. I know this. And everyone once in a while, someone or something reminds me of that small, yet significant fact.

Sure... it's a hassle. Yup...this has been one of the strangest journeys ever in my life. But a wonderful one. A true blessing.... despite the numerous disguises. And although I have questioned whether or not i would do this again in the future, I will never ever regret each and every day this journey has given me. I love my baby. Always have (even before I was pregnant) and always will for the rest of my days!

oh...and by the way... he's awake and back to kicking again!

i HATE silly season

I once heard Denise Civiletti refer to the "pre-election" period as "Silly Season". Right she is! They're all silly in my opinion and they all need to be evaluated for severe mental issues.

Since moving up the Island a bit, I started regretting declaring my status as a "Democrat". Living in an area where there is a slightly higher ratio of people living in close-knit neighborhoods, campaigning has become a door-to-door process. In the last several weeks I've had several "campaigners" knocking on my door - both young and old - in support of Brian Foley. For those of you who don't know him, he's the Supervisor of Crookhaven Town (no that's not a typo).

THREE people have come to my door in the last 2 weeks. The first guy was young... couldn't have been more than 18-19 years old in sweat shirt and jeans looking to just get the word out. He also had what looked like a petition of some sort (I can only assume in support of Foley) that he wanted me to sign. I didn't really show my support one way or another other than the fact that i knew he was running. I wasn't very pleased about the house call so as a little entertainment for myself, I allowed my dogs to continue to bark frantically at him through the glass storm door. They appear to be vicious monsters, but honestly....they just want to lick you to death!

The second visitor wanted me to put a sign on my front lawn. I was like "UH... NO! do you see an Obama sign? or Bishop sign on my front lawn?". Seriously people. This guy was very pushy and actually asked who i was going to vote for in the Senate AND the presidency elections. He caught me off guard and all i could say was "i just don't know and probably wont know until i hit the polls, buddy". But what i should have said, if I were quick on my feet, was that it was none of his damn business who i vote for and that it's my right as a citizen of the United States to keep it that way.

The third, and hopefully final, visitor came to my door last Thursday evening. Rob and I were both sitting on the couch and i was in my pajamas trying to rest my aching pregnancy back. The doorbell rang and my dogs began barking frantically. We both looked at each other (his parents were out of town and anyone else would have called first - even his parents would have called at that hour). Rob asked me to peek out the window to see who it was but my view was limited because it was so dark. Yes folks... it was 8PM at night. Brian Foley sent someone out on the streets to knock on doors at 8pm at night. I was FURIOUS. Rob opened the door and as soon as he said where he was from i said "buddy...it's 8PM...what are you thinking??? You guys have been to this house 3 times in the last 2 weeks. When will it stop?" Again, I allowed my dogs to bark frantically as I yelled at his sorry ass. My husband, at that point, took a back seat this pathetic scene. I didn't argue for long before i closed the door on his face and decided that someone would be receiving the wrath of me in the morning at Foley's campaign headquarters.

The next day i was still furious and not wanting to completely blow up on the phone, I wrote an email to his campaign. Basically..i told them not to come to my house any more otherwise I would consider it harassment and would call the police. I still haven't heard back from them... pathetic. You would think an apology would be in order but perhaps they wrote me off as a potential voter. SO SAD.

One more week of this and I have decided to forever move myself to the "Independent" line and then vote for whoever i want without being inundated with mailings and phone calls and house calls... especially those at 8pm in the evening.

I still say i should have moved to Europe 10 years ago when i was truly entertaining the idea. Sigh.

baby stuff up the wazzooo

It's amazing what comes out of the woodwork when you tell someone you're having a baby, particularly when you know if its a boy or a girl. My neighbor is already off loading her boy clothes on me and just yesterday i paid a visit to an old high school friend who gave me a TON of stuff, including a couple of brand new packs of diapers. She warned me that she hasnt even gone into the attic to pull out the boxes of things (some with tags still on them). It's like christmas all over again! We have basically jam packed the changing table with clothing and other things (as you can see). Aren't those little rainboots so cute??

Among the many wonderful things she gave me was a side basket to hook onto the changing table to hold diapers and wipes etc. The contraption has a cool name: "The Munchkin", which is ironic because that's what i have been calling my little boy. Amusingly, I was more excited about the cool bumper sticker that says "I love my munchkin" included in the box than the actual item in the box itself (though im pretty sure i'll be thankful in a few months). LOL. Pathetic i know. Sometimes it doesnt take much to amuse me! And you try not to get caught up in all the "STUFF" but sometimes its just fun to sit and browse all the cute little stuff.

We're still working on the nursery. We found gorgeous pine floors under the dingy carpet we pulled up last weekend. Very excited about that. We decided to just find a big area rug instead of re-carpeting. It will definitely add character to the room. One of the things Rob and I talked about was the fact that we really wanted to make sure that we buy things that the kid can grow into...such as the rug on the floor or the dresser (one we already have). We didnt want to spend a couple hundred dollars on a froo froo rug with baby bonnets and sailboats only to toss it or sell it after a year or two. We wanted something that he can use when he's 10 and even 17. I explained that if we do it right, only a few things need to be "babyish" in the room...like the curtains, the crib set and the big block letters spelling out his name on the wall. These are replaceable, less expensive things that really dont matter much in the long run. I'm glad we're both in agreement on this philosophy.

This little monster inside me has been kicking me like crazy...and hard too. For some reason he likes to kick down onto my bladder, particularly when its full. He must think thats funny or something! I am not so amused. But other times it just feels like my insides are squirming around. Its an odd feeling. My belly is not getting big as much as it is defined. And i still havent gained any more weight. Im quite happy about that. I havent been restricting myself too much, but I do try to eat healthy and watch the sweets. I must admit though I am craving them. It's nice to have my appetite back but at the same time... its not! LOL.

Rob and i are heading to the hospital next week to take a tour of the maternity ward. Im delivering in Southampton which I hear is really nice. It's also quite a hike from our house up the Island. Luckily my parents live in Westhampton and if we feel the day is coming or things are not quite right we may stay there for a few days. We're trying not to plan too much because we know things can change at any moment and last minute decisions will need to be made anyway. But we are prepared to make the important decisions should they arise.

Overall im feeling so much better these days. A little sore from my stomach stretching and tired from not sleeping well, but im getting used to that! lol. We're so excited, even more so since finding out we're having a little boy. I think it it makes it that much more real.

baby chronicles...continued

Well... there's not much else to say except...

IT'S A BOY!!

Life Lesson #239

Never put your $300 Blackberry in the washing machine. There's no exception to this rule, not even pregnancy (although there should be).

General Baby Chat

Someone asked for a belly shot in email the other day.....And while i can appreciate people wanting to see our little squirt growing... you're gonna have to wait a little longer until i am actually showing something other than pre-baby belly fat!

We head back to the doctor for the anatomy ultrasound in two weeks. We'll hopefully know if its a boy or a girl. At that point we'll send out another email with pictures and of course I'll be posting on my blog.

I've been researching daycare and I think we found one that will be just right (the right people, the right price, the right distance).

We started working on the nursery this weekend. Rob added some new lighting and also did some spackling. We're waiting to find out what the baby is before we do any painting etc. But it looks like we're pretty much set with furniture. My friend Christy had an extra crib in her basement which belonged to her brother as well as a changing table and they both closely match the dresser we already have in there.

We've already received little things here and there from family and friends (some new some hand-me-downs)...clothing and diapers and toys etc, but the whole thing didn't sink in until we set up the changing table today. I sat on the bed and went through everything we already had...folded the few pieces of clothes... smelled them (cause they smell like baby powder)... and realized....

HOLY CRAP i'm having a baby!!

Of course the symptoms are still very much around but the nausea is slowly disappearing. My appetite is back and I've gained a few pounds. I really don't want to gain too much weight because I'm already heavy as it is, so i'm starting to walk and trying to eat a little better (trying is the key word here).

These days i'm mostly dealing with headaches and backaches. And the pressure on my bladder is quite uncomfortable. I don't know how people actually choose to do this twice. Seriously! It's not been a positive experience for me.... yet.. i'm thrilled to death ... as is Rob. It's just quite a bit of work (more than i anticipated in the pre-baby experience) just getting through day to day.

We've been getting practice holding and feeding a newborn since my friend Christy had her little one almost 9 weeks ago. Rob is so into it! He always goes to watch when the baby is being changed and doesn't even blink when asked to hold her. In fact he held her through most of our card game last night. He's definitely not going to be one of those days who is afraid to hold their own child. I'm so thrilled for him. He's going to be a great daddy.

It's hard to believe I'm just about half way through this journey.

We cant wait to find out if its a boy or a girl.

Family Reunion

How often do you get more than 60 people in one place at one time who are all related to each other? Not very often! Our family tries to get together at least once a year but not everyone can make it every year. This year we were missing 3 people - all very legitimate reasons. We had visitors from as far away as Nebraska and Ohio and North Carolina. Its nutty to try and plan the whole thing but so worth it in the end.

firsts....

I've been thinking about the many "firsts" in my life. There are so many and some are hard to remember but the ones you do remember stick out like a sore thumb in your mind. Not to say they are all bad experiences. Perhaps I should have used a different analogy.

First Bike Ride
I remember the first time I road my shiny two-wheel red bike for the first time without training wheels. There was a little handle on the back of my seat that my dad would hold onto and run down the driveway with me until i had a good speed going. The drive ways not paved and not really that flat either, but i managed to stay in a straight line down one tire trail. One day my dad was pushing me on my bike and he just let go... and i road like the wind. I was so proud and I remember my dad calling out to me from behind. I dont remember what he said but I'm pretty sure they were words of encouragement. Eventually, many years later, I would graduate to a 10 speed (still red).

First School Bus Ride
I remember the first time I walked across Main Street in East Moriches to get in the school bus for the first time. I was 5 years old. Most of my memory comes from my mom's recollection of the moment. She remembers my lunch box bursting open all over the street and feeling so bad for me. I've always had a lot of anxiety issues about "starting school" in the fall - whether it was 1st grade or 12th grade - and perhaps the lunch box issue was the cause? I’m not really here to analyze every moment of my life but more so to recollect a series of events leading up until today.

First Teacher
My kindergarten teacher was such a wonderful woman. Mrs. Dickson. Loved her. She was so gentle and loving and lots of fun. It helped that I knew her and her family outside of school which made my transition into the education system even more pleasant than anticipated. My mom talked-it-up so to speak… “you’re going to be in Mrs. Dickson’s class”. I was excited but I’m pretty sure I was nervous too. Probably goes back to the whole lunch box thing. One of the things I remember in Kindergarten is the Easter play we did: Peter Cotton Tail. I cant tell you what I played in the play but I do remember this kid Josh got to play Peter Cottontail and he did a great job. All the parents came into watch the play. It was a highlight and quite memorable because I don’t remember much else about that whole experience.

First Kiss
Ok. So I was pretty young. And so was he. But it was memorable and sweet. He was a neighborhood friend. We hung out together ALL the time: swimming, biking, baseball (I was quite a tom-boy). Then one day… hormones kicked in. It was all quite innocent I assure you but I always wonder where he is in life and if he remembers his neighborhood friends.

First Car
I remember my dad being so excited about my first car. I was getting my license and he wanted this to be a momentus occasion for me, so he had a new radio put into one of his little GMC pick-ups and had my name painted on the outside of the driver side door. It was so cool! I went everywhere in that thing. Loved that car! It was a tight fit with a couple of girlfriends going out for lunch but when you’re the only one with a car, everyone just kinda puts up with it!

First husband
Not too many can claim this... and quite simply - he was a good man - but not for me. I'll always care about him no matter how much of an ass he can be at times.

First House
This is still quite fresh in my mind and in my heart. I was so elated the day my ex and I signed papers to buy our first home. It signified “growing up” and being part of society with responsibilities. I loved my house. It left a lasting impression on me and when my ex and I split up I honestly tried to work out a way to keep it. In the end, selling was the only option and left me quite heart broken to say the least. Every once in a while I drive by that place and sometimes even wished I still lived there. The only saving grace was that a sweet young couple purchased the house and were about to have the baby. I was glad it went to a young family starting out.

And then it comes to this… my first child….

I’m still in shock – 4 months later – and yet it’s as if it was always meant to be. Does that make any sense? It’s been a long road to get to this point.

I cried during the first 2 sonograms and now I am only 3 weeks away from the 3rd where they will tell us if it’s a boy or a girl. The first 2 sonograms were interesting. He/She wouldn’t stop moving around so it was really hard to get a good look. And even during my last visit 2 weeks ago the doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat because the baby was moving around so much, so I got a quick glimpse on the sono machine again (just to make sure everything was ok). “You’re baby is moving around so much,” the doctor would say EVERY TIME I went in for a visit.

It’s also close to that time when I will start to feel my little squirt wiggling inside me. I have to say I have been feeling some weird stuff going on and I really do think it’s the baby moving around. I’ll be sitting on the couch or lying in bed and I’ll get a little blip of a bubbly feeling in my belly. I questioned it at first – thinking it was all in my head – but the last few days I really get the feeling it’s something more. And in the last day or so I can really feel the difference between the baby moving and bubbly gas in my tummy. I had always wondered what it would feel like to have a child inside me and now here I am experiencing it first hand.

I’m quite amazed – despite all the horrible side effects I’m going through – with the whole process, the growth, the emotional journey, the preparation and most of all the fact that Rob and I will be parents in just 5 short months. Parents. We’ll be parents. Wow. If I really stopped to think about too much it’s overwhelming…. But in a good way.

Desperately seeking ... ME!

HELP!

Im in search of …. ME!

Somewhere out there is the woman I have grown to love in the last few years. She’s been taken hostage by an alien life form inside her. This life form that has basically taken control of every aspect of her life... Eating, sleeping, and even peeing! She’s also taken the liberty of being overly critical, nit picky, a constant backseat driver, and just a plain ole’ bitch ALL the time (mostly about the peeing ALL NIGHT LONG thing).

Her husband is desperately seeking solitude from the nagging...

...the constant nagging...

...the never ending nagging...

....you can see it in his eyes.

The "MY GOD WHAT THE HECK HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU WOMAN" look.

But alas, he holds his tongue, smiles and mumbles "how much longer do we have of this?".

But she cant help it... the alien life form inside her has control over her every thought and action...She can't even drive without getting angry at the slow driver in the left lane or the van three cars ahead changing lanes without even signaling... She hates them ALL I tell ya! Every single darn one of them... And she’s out with a vengeance to tell it like it is!!

So beware... somewhere out there is the REAL me and she WILL return! Someday! Somehow!

Hopefully!

hi, out there!

We paid another visit to the doctor last night. I have a sonogram printout but it came out really crappy. I'll try to scan it tonight and see what happens.

Anyway, we went in for the results of all my blood work. Everything looks awesome. No signs of infection, my sugar was great, and the genetic tests they did claimed i was low risk. Outstanding news all around.

The doctor pulled out one of his little gadgets and promptly stuck it on my belly.

and suddenly.....a heartbeat... pounding loud and clear... bahdum bahdum bahdum bahdum... like a horse galloping across the field...very very very cool!

The sonograms never cease to amaze me. Each time the baby more than doubles in size (now 3 inches long) and i always seem to shed a tear or two when i see my little one wiggling around inside me, especially since i cant quite feel anything yet. It's the most awesome emotional feeling in the world. The coolest part was watching my baby wiggle his/her little fingers... like he/she was waving to us from inside!

"Hi mom and dad! I cant wait to meet you! but dont get to comfortable...im coming out with an agenda to keep you up all night and cry at every opportune moment and basically torture you for the rest of your life".

My response?

"That's ok little one. We'll love you every day, for the rest of our lives, no matter what!"

St James General Store

I recently had a photo shoot at the St James General Store. Have you ever been there? It's a pretty cool place. Here are a couple of shots from the shoot.

sigh

The last week or so has been a whirlwind around here.

A few months ago I volunteered to organize our 60 person family reunion. Not much to it really... I just needed to maintain communications with my family and deligate food items etc to each of them. It was relatively easy on my end, at least up until the week before, but stress free for the most part.

We had 8 family member staying at our house from Thursday through Monday morning. The count included 4 teenage boys, a 6 year old girl and 3 adults. It was quite a houseload but again, relatively stress free. They were self-sufficient and very helpful around the house. The boys were quiet and the 6 year old was well behaved.

I also spent several hours in the kitchen on Friday afternoon making a wonderful Argentinian treat called empanadas. My dad used to make them with my great grandmother and a few years ago he taught me how to make them so i can pass it down to my kids (something i definitely plan on doing). So now I drag my dad out on Christmas Eve or the day before Christmas Eve to spend the day cooking. It's great bonding time with him...and I treasure every moment. Its so awesome to see the joy on his face and hear all the stories about my Great Grandma.

In case you're wondering....empanadas are like a meat pie filled with chopped meat, onions, boiled egg, cayan pepper, garlic and other spices. Rob and I have been adjusting the recipe and experimenting the last few times we made them...so the new secret ingredient is pimentos.

SEVERAL hours... i slaved in the heat of the kitchen on Friday. When Rob got home from work he took over so i could lay down for a bit. In the end... we made about 70-80 empanadas (including 20 turkey empanadas for my sister in-law who doesnt eat red meat). Wouldn't you know... EVERY SINGLE one of them was eaten at the reunion!!!

I love making them but I only really do it twice a year extensively. Once at our annual family reunion and the other during Christmas. They remind me of my Great Grandmother who died when i was about 10-11 years old. I didnt get a chance to know her too well (mostly because she only spoke Spanish - and i didnt!), but she was a fabulous cook and she was always giving her great grandchildren gifts "to remember her by".

The reunion went really well. Even Grandma, in her constant state of confusion, did really well. We stuck her a quiet part of the yard with some of the older folks and most people know she requires a peaceful environment to maintain a happy disposition. And considering the fact that this will probably be my Grandfather's last reunion (he has cancer), spirits were relatively high and jovial.

And as most fun parties go...we had way too much food and way too little time.

Our house is quiet again.... and although it was a great weekend spending time with family, we're glad to have our home back...

Foreign invasion

Im quickly approaching 11 weeks. Still somewhat sick. Had a crazy episode with my toothbrush this week. I'll spare you the details...really!

My belly is getting big. YOU may not be able to really see it but dammit i feel it. Its like a cantalope inside my stomach. It's getting hard for me to sit at my desk....my back is starting to hurt... and bend over to pick something up? Forget it. It's a strange feeling though. It's like nothing i ever experienced before.

Ive always been on the heavy side (except right before puberty which was ages and ages ago... :::sigh:::) and so i've always had a heavy midsection... It's come and gone over the years, but we are definitely on an upswing here folks. My body is not my own anymore. It's wonderfully terrifying.

And just as I begin to physically feel the effects of our "honeymoon love", panic has set in.

Im having a baby.

What the hell am i doing?

Am i nuts?

When exactly did i convince myself that this is what i wanted and have always wanted my whole life? Ive been feeling so miserable the first few weeks that I just want all this to be over.

BUT...

Then i remember... for this to be over requires the birth of a small child promptly placed in my care... forever. FOREVER!!! Thats the way these things work apparently. You cant just be pregnant and then move on with your life after 9 months. Silly me! Where do i get these ideas from?

Thank God i have my panic button to keep me company...

Our little munchkin!

10 weeks and 2 days old.... still going... still growing... In fact, "she" wouldn't sit still for her portrait! She was wiggling all over the place! She was a welcome site after a tiff between mommy and daddy in the Tanger parking lot! Hey... @#$* happens. I still love him and he still adores me and what's most important, we love our little munchkin!

4am wake up call

Not sure what this is about, but the last few weeks I have been waking up between 3am and 4am. There's no rhyme or reason to it really and its starting to get old. I never sleep through night anymore as it is because of my frequent trips to the bathroom (which by the way, im actually getting used to as strange as that sounds).

I only remember two other times in my life when i had this "wake up" problem in the middle of the night.

1. when i was going through my divorce. I wasn't sleeping very well back then. I was living with my parents and it was just a heightened emotional time in my life.

2. when i came back from Europe. It took me like 3 weeks to adjust back to our time zone. I would pass out every night at 6pm and wake up 8 or so hours later fully rested and ready to take on the world. I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep so early but it was really hard not to.

So i suppose this middle of the night fiasco is somewhat related to a heightened emotional experience lately. Im having a baby. Things have been stressful at work. And the whole thing with my grandparents has beencrazy. Its complicated.

_____


Im starting to feel my stomach grow. Well its not that i feel it grow, its that i can't really lean forward without putting added pressure on my stomach or bladder. Quite frequently I end up with heartburn because of it or i just have this uncomfortable pressure (like i ate too much kinda thing).

Speaking of eating... I have had the priveledge of being mostly nausea free the last 2 days. A big deal for me. I even ate a cheeseburger and tomorrow im going to have baked clams at the Yacht Club clam bake. Now is the time when i need to be more mindful of what i eat, I know it! This is when it could get out of hand. I'll probably start slowly cutting back on the all the carbs soon, though Im not quite comfortable with it just yet. Its only been two days but i guess im just excited because i see the end in sight!

Rob is so into this baby thing. And im so grateful. He's been so patient with me its not even funny. Ive been in a raunchy mood lately and he just takes it with a grain of salt (unlike other people we wont discuss). And every night when we get into bed ... we talk...watch TV...snuggle a little... and when he kisses me goodnight he reaches over with his hand and pats a kiss on my belly.

"say good night to your daughter"....i would say to him. (yes, i said daughter and no i dont know what it is for sure!)

He would smile, kiss his fingers and gently place them on my stomach.

Tonight i actually let him feel how my stomach is getting a little harder. You can kind of feel it under all the belly fat! LOL. He even commented on it the other night when he was kissing "her" good night with his normal finger kiss.

Life will never be the same once our little pumpkin comes along. Sleep will never be the same. Our days will not be our own anymore. And we welcome this challenge with open arms. We look forward to the ups and downs of parenting knowing it will be one of the most important things we do as human beings.

:::burp:::: here comes the heartburn. I need to figure out the right way to sit in my chair from now on.

Today.....is a good day

I woke this morning feeling wonderful. It's my day off and so far I am nausea free - a big deal for me! I had a huge bowl of corn flakes. I don't think they ever tasted that good before! YUM!

The other good news is I can now make it through a full 8 hour work day and not feel like someone beat the crap out of me or I had been up all night running a marathon. Even when i got home yesterday I didn't crash on the couch and sleep for an hour.

Both of these things are huge improvements from last week and the week before. I'm grateful for at least a little relief, thats for sure. I'm hoping this is the beginning of the end. My first trimester will be over in 2-3 weeks and they say all this miserable stuff goes with it! I might actually have that pregnancy "glow" by then, because goodness knows it hasn't been there yet!

Christy and baby are home as of yesterday mid-day. I offered my services as a photographer to do baby's first portrait. I've learned a lot by watching my cousin and how she poses the newborns and such. I cant wait to try some out myself. Big brother Luke is doing well. Mom says he's quite content with his new train toy he got when baby came home yesterday. Everyone has to feel loved and special and we're all making an extra effort to give him that!

House cleaning must occur in the next week at my house. We have guests coming to stay with us for our annual family reunion. There will be about 60 people in attendance and 8 1/2 of them are staying with Rob and me! It's going to be crazy! I cant wait to see everyone and it's so awesome that we all make this effort once a year to get together and pay hommage to our family! It's so important to spend time with the ones we love and the ones who love us. Time is the most precious gift we can give and receive. Dont you think?

more pictures

someone new in my life

Last night, my best friend gave birth to her second child.... a girl.. a beautiful little girl. It was a long labor but Christy is tough in spirit and mind! She's had a rough 9 months but persevered for her daughter's sake.

This morning, on my way to work, i recieved a text message from Christy.

"I am so in love with my little girl"

I began to cry, being the hormonal crazed pregnant woman that I am these days. I put myself in her place... with Rob at my side and both of us crying tears of joy at our new arrival several months down the road.

I have been struggling quite a bit with morning sickness lately and Im just so damn tired all the time. And so I was avoiding my blog like the plague. No one wants to hear a pregnant lady bitch and moan over and over again about how bad she feels, when in fact she should just shut up and be happy that she's having a baby at all.

But this news of little Mikaela's arrival has given me a new surge of hope and energy and a not so distant end to all this horrible icky "hang over" type feeling I have ALL the time.

perfect and healthy

Yesterday Rob and I headed off for our first glimpse of our little baby. What a wonderfully emotional experience. After hearing about two of my friends who had complications from their pregnancies resulting in a miscarriage, my concerns grew exponentially as yesterday approached. But once I saw that perfectly round sac and my little baby's heartbeat, I knew everything was going to be ok. I pretty much cried through the whole thing. It was so amazing.

Mom and I had super time in Tampa last weekend. She asked me to go with her back in February. "I'm going with or without you," she said.

What's a girl to do with an offer like that?

The last time I went with mom to Tampa was about 3-4 years ago, when my life was completely different. Back then i cried the whole weekend. And this time... I celebrated two major happenings in my life: marriage to an awesome guy and our first child on the way. Overall we had a great time. Its quite hot in Florida in July. We knew that already, but who cares. We weren't planning on tennis or golf or anything at all that required physical activity except the 1/3 mile walk to the pool and back. We figured the walk was good enough exercise anyway! It rained nearly every evening and we even had some big booming thunderstorms too. I couldn't believe how it poured some nights.

By the end of the weekend, we were both burnt to a crisp and completely sunned out. We were so careful about getting burnt we spent the whole weekend under the umbrellas in the shade, but none of that mattered much for some reason. Im now pealing all over my shoulder and chest. Im not a big fan of sunburn.

My biggest disappointment was the Spa. I LOVE going to the Spa down there. But when I mentioned I was 6 weeks pregnant, they immediately turned me down for any type of massage. They said it had something to do with the distribution of blood and how it could harm the baby. Despite my moans and groans, I knew it was best to avoid anything like that, so i went with a facial and a pedicure! Both were wonderful!

Other than that, my baby gave me a week off from morning sickness. Hallalujiah! I was able to enjoy the various menu items at the restaurants we visited down there. I could even get toast down in the morning with apple juice, something I could not do the previous couple of weeks.

By the time Monday rolled around, I was back to my sick self again, barely making it home on a somewhat bumpy flight. The last few mornings have been progressively worse and yesterday the sickness lasted almost the whole day. I spent most of it nibbling on crackers and sipping cold apple juice. Carbs seem to work well for me; pasta, rice, potatoes, crackers. They settle my stomach well. Unfortunately, these are exactly the kinds of things I have been trying to eliminate from my diet to shed some pounds.

At this point, I am figuring my low carb diet is off limits until about next February. I am trying to make an effort to eat more veggies, like carrots, squash, green beans etc. Thank God for corn season! I put a list on the fridge of all good foods for pregnant women to eat and on my good days I try to eat as much of them as possible. We have several different kinds of juices in the fridge now and I bought these little snack apple sauces with no sugar added and extra calcium. I'm still trying to eat a few oranges a week. Milk has been difficult to get down, but my alternatives are yogurt and cheeses. And when i do have carbs in my diet, i try to make sure they are whole grain or whole wheat. I always bring a baggy of whole grain cheerios to work with me so i have something to munch on. I heard sweet potatoes are really good for me at this point so I have those instead of a regular potato (with skins intact).

Of all the symptoms of pregnancy, morning sickness has been the most prominent, other than these two MELONS on my chest that ACHE all the time. OY! But someone gave me some good advice the other day...

"Keep smiling! You're a MOMMY!"

Words to live by...

daddy

Despite the sickness
Despite the mood swings
Beyond irrationality
And whatever may happen in the next 8 months
Between us a special bond holds strong
a love I have never experienced before
And with the ultimate meshing of our two lives
brings more...
more for you...
more for me..
more for us..
more for our little one...

---

It's like PMS on steroids...i swear! And i'm sure no matter what sex you are, you have some clue as to what I mean. But despite that, my husband, my friend, my lover is an exceptional man and i have no doubts as to his ability to be a wonderful father. He, in no way, fits the cliche and often negative label "my baby's daddy" (thank god). The affection between us is different...changed somehow... but for the better. He looks at me differently. It's hard to explain but it makes me love him more.

He's so excited about this baby. I came home from my weekend with Polly two weeks ago and he started spewing all these wonderful ideas about the nursery... painting.... lighting... etc. He's been reading this book that my friend gave him about "the expecting father" or something like that.

He does EVERYTHING that requires lifting without a second thought. "You will endure many things that I cannot endure with you," is his response when i tell him he's quite the workhorse! And he's constantly helping me make healthy food choices and encouraging me to rest at any given opportunity. He understands the sensitivity of the situation at hand.

Fair (not necessarily equal) partnership is clearly visible in this relationship. There is give and take... 60/40....40/60. But we are both aware of what each of us brings to this relationship and we both appreciate each other immensely. Something I had not felt in the past. This whole experience has strengthened our already strong love, respect, and our affection for one another. And I'm sure we're going to need it in the coming years with the challenges of raising a child together.

Her (or Him if you really want to be fair)

As i began to write my a new blog post, i realized all i was doing was bitching and moaning about all the symptoms I have been having over the last week or so and how they are gradually getting worse.

UGH...

After considering this for a while, I realized there was something much more interesting to talk about.

My baby and the miracle of life.

I have been following the overall development of my child and it is just so amazing.

How does a bunch of cells know to develop into a complex human being....

How does it know to form a heart or eyes or ears...or fingernails...

Here I am at my 5th week and my baby is merely the size of a seasame seed and already she (cause yes - its a girl!! I swear it!) has a two chamber heart and a tube that will later form the spinal cord. By the time I go for my ultrasound in two weeks, Little Baby will have a heart beat.

If I am really blessed there will be more than one heart beat (and I mean that half sarcastically). Though, even with the medication i was taking, it is somewhat rare for twins.

I am so thankful for this blessing we have been given.

thank heaven for little girls

I had some very special visitors this week. My cousin Melissa with her two little girls stopped by my house for some beach time and yummy brownies. Of course Sophia (the older of the two) made it perfect clear that the brownie was temporary...until the ice cream truck comes by. I was in my element with those two... i am SO ready for this!

to be or not to be

I was so busy last week, I had no time to sit and write, although my heart desired it so. I'm still taking Grandma for 1 afternoon a week and last week was particularly difficult. She was in rare form, asking the same question over and over again.

How did i get here? (my house)

I brought you grandma.

Oh ok. Grandpa knows im here?

Yes. I spoke with him.

Well, what is he doing?

He's taking a nap. He doesnt feel well. (Grandpa has cancer).

Oh ok. And how am i getting home?

I'm going to take you to Lilly's (my aunt) for dinner and Grandpa will be there waiting for you.

Oh ok... what time?

...........

This was an on-going cycle we took every 5 minutes for about 5 hours. I couldn't get her to sit still for anything so after making cupcakes, bread, sweeping the whole downstairs (including the porch), folding 3 loads of laundry, and making a marinade for the chicken i was cooking later..... I finally gave up and let her putz around the house while I sat for a few minutes. I couldn't keep up with her.

My dad came to my rescue. He showed up just as she was settling on the couch watching "A Baby Story" on TV with me. We were enjoying the videos of small babies popping up on the screen.

Rob and I have been trying for about 3 months now with the help of some really awesome medications from the doctor. We've been patient and we know this sort of thing takes time. And despite her her ability to retain anything anyone says these days, I still enjoy engaging her in my hopes and dreams; one of them being my desire to have a child.


Grandma, Im trying to ger pregnant.

Really? How old are you?

Im 32.

Oh you're too old to have babies now.
(coming from a woman who had 4 kids before she was 30).

I knew that was coming actually, but it's always funny to hear her say it and see the expressions on her face.

That was Thursday at around 4:30pm.


.................


What i didnt know was that 10 hours later my life would change forever. I woke around 2:30am, as I do most nights, to go to the bathroom. It's pretty par for me. I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was due on Monday and I told myself I would wait til Friday morning to test. I thought this day would never arrive. I had waves nausea all week. And the heartburn...omg. But I convinced myself it was all in my head and I knew that the medication made my PMS worse than had been in the past, including feeling sick to my stomach.

I wasn't pregnant... i couldnt be....

or so I thought.

I sat there (on the toilet) staring at the little white stick in my hand, when all of a sudden two lines began to show. I blinked.

Was I dreaming? Was I seeing things?

UM HOLY @#$%#@$!!!

GUESS WHAT??????????????

Happy Birthday Polly!

My dear friend Polly. Thank God for you! You appeared in my life out of nowhere....just when i needed you most. THANKS for showing me the light.

BEWARE: MOOSE CROSSING NEXT 10 MILES

Beware: MOOSE CROSSING next 10 miles.

This was pretty much on every major highway north of Massachusetts and had us giggling the whole time. One sign we saw (which i didnt get a picture of) said: BRAKE FOR MOOSE: It could save your life.

We did in fact see a moose and a bear during our weekend in Vermont, which was pretty cool. Though, they were both WAY at the top of a ski slope at Cannon Mountain Ski Resort.

Below are a series of pictures from our weekend. Overall we had a WONDERFUL time.



Local is a major theme in Vermont - which THRILLED ME to pieces. They have so much to be proud of: dairy, maple, and unusual artisans spanning across the countryside. One of the things that really amazed me was their sense of humor. Advertisements are witty and eye catching - almost cheezy but tactful. You'll find restaurants serving local meats, cheeses, wines, beers and so much more. You'll also find maple farms selling other local farm products and vice versa. It was a true cooperative.

Speaking of cooperatives, did you know that the Cabot Cheese Factory is actually a cooperative of more than a 1000 dairy farms. The factory itself is, in fact, in Cabot, Vermont, but the farmers who belong are from all over. Facinating. The $3.00 tour of the Cabot Cheese Factory was pretty cool. They make this butter that is out of this world. We bought a few blocks of cheese - mostly the private collection stuff that can only be bought in their retail stores in Vermont. On the way out of the town we stopped to pay tribute to the most important contributors in the Cabot Cooperative.

And What's a vacation in Vermont without a stop to Ben & Jerry's. Sorry to say though, we missed the "FREE" scoop day by a few weeks. But out of all the tours we took in Vermont, this was by far the most entertaining and witty. The story of Ben & Jerry is quite amazing. After the tour we spent time in the gift shop and purchased a much needed cold, refreshing ice cream.

One of my other favorite things we did was Franconia Gorge State Park in New Hampshire. Our Inn (which I'll talk about next) was not far from the New Hampshire border - near Littleton. Franconia had quite a few things to do, one being the Flume Gorge hike. We hiked uphill to the gorge from the visitors center (I complained the whole way cause i hate the heat) which was about a 1/2 mile. Then we hiked through the Gorge (as seen in the picture) up the stairs to the top. Once inside the gorge the temperature dropped DRASTICALLY. We took our time through this area - or at least I did. Here's a couple more pictures I snapped.







More to come.....

more pictures

We leave for our honeymoon tomorrow morning. I'll tell you all about it when we get home. Here are some more pictures for you.

back to our regularly scheduled program

Sigh.

Life is simmering down back to normal; back to what i remember before planning this big hoo-ha! And to be perfectly honest, I'm thrilled. Life without worrying about sick ministers or dress fittings or DJs is so much more my style.

Sure, I like the planning and the excitment of it all. I won't lie about that. But i get plenty of that at work. And so to escape the maddness that sometimes ensues at my desk and in my office, I go straight home to hang out with my honey, work in the yard and putz around the house.

That's pretty much been the plan the last week or so. We've been dog sitting Lex, my girlfriend's golden retriever. He's pretty cool but a little weird. He's definitely good entertainment thats for sure and he LOVES rob. We also got a delivery of mulch on Saturday morning and man does that stuff make a difference! Our front yard looks awesome.

Besides that, I had an itch to bake. My neighbor bought us some new baking pans and such as a wedding gift and i really wanted to try them out. So i made a pathetic looking cake that tasted really good. That's all that really matters anyway right? We served it up for dessert last night to our dinner guests (my parents and my aunt/uncle from Australia). They laughed at my design, but in the end they were scraping the last little bit of icing off the plate. Mission accomplished....sorta.

Other news includes the babymaking progress. Let's just say, we'll try again next month. I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow for a Clomid check and lucky us, we'll be ready to "rock and roll" during our honeymoon. I'm trying to stay positive. After all it is only the second month with Clomid.

We leave for our honeymoon a week from Friday and we CAN'T WAIT!

brought to you by Match.com

is it really that big?

If you saw the movie Boogie Nights, you'll understand why I laid in bed last night googling Mark Walberg's name on my blackberry. I just had to share and see if anyone else's jaw dropped at the end?


Quote of the week: A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. - Joan Rivers

butterflies in my stomach

Ive got massive butterflies in my stomach. I guess it's from a combination of things... the wedding... the baby making. OMG Speaking of babymaking. I was so excited this past weekend. Last month, not one ovulation test came up positive and i was testing every day, sometimes twice a day. WELL this weekend I got a faint second line. It's not a positive test for ovulation, but it's definitely coming this week. I was so excited I grabbed the test and ran back to the bedroom to show Rob. Actually, i really just wanted to make sure i wasnt hallucinating. This morning's test was a little darker than yesterday, so we are closely monitoring the situation.

Wedding talk..... Pushing through all the family bullshit, dealing with the caterer, the photographer, the cake lady, the florist.... ahhhh so close and yet so far away. I think though, today will be the last day i have to deal with anything to do with the wedding other than a scheduled manicure. I'm considering a massage as well. I might just make that appointment today.

Can you believe it's finally here? The closer I get, the more I am in shock. I'm getting married again. And trust me, had it not been for this man stealing my heart away, I would not even be considering it.

I'm hoping to get all my shit done at work on Monday so i can take Tuesday off. We'll see.

Can you believe i said shit so many times? I think I'm spending too much time on Six's blog. HAHAHA!

the prophesy

Time seems to be slipping by these days, yet the wedding seems like ages away. Its hard to explain.

One of the biggest challenges is the baggage i brought with me into this relationship. Its so hard not to compare my past with today, even though the two eras in my life are miles from being the same. Its especially hard when planning a wedding. Christy made me laugh one day when she said "you have to do it. It's a once in a life time thing". I just looked at her and said "you mean twice". We both had a good laugh over that one, after all if you dont have a sense of humor about things you did in your past, how can you expect to make anything of yourself in this world. When someone makes a bad decision about something, don't we all say "we're all human"?

Well, I don't really look at my past as a mistake. How can I? My ex is a good guy. We just weren't right for each other. I don't fault him for that and I hope the feeling is mutual. I look at the whole experience as a journey to the life I was meant to have... the one i have today.

I think the hardest part of the whole journey was "life after divorce". I felt as if i was floating above myself.... looking down on this poor pathetic soul trying to find herself once again. Its a tough journey, let me tell you. I've seen friends go through it and never make it out the other side alive; still stuck in their own little bitter world. Its hard to watch them.

Luckily I found the light on the other side.

I remember, some time during my "self-discovery" journey through Europe, I met a man, an artist, in Florence. We shared our life stories as he painted in front of the Academia (where they hold "The David" statue).

"Don't worry sweetheart. You'll make it through this hard time in your life. Just keep pushing forward. You mark my words, You'll be back here next year on your honeymoon".

I laughed at him as he told me a story about a young girl like me who was taking the same journey as me - trying to find herself in Europe. She, just like me, befriended this man, and a year later she returned with her newlywed husband.

I cant deny, my mind drifted off to that dream of finding someone and walking down the cobble stone roads of Florence with him, but I knew my journey was more than just about finding a man. I needed to find my life without a man. I needed to find out who this new person was going to be before i shared it with anyone else. So i put those thoughts out of my mind, picked up my camera, and moved on to the next city with my group.

What i didn't know was that meeting this man and hearing his words were like a prophesy. And just 6 weeks after I returned from Europe feeling refreshed, alive and more like myself than ever, that man walked into my life. He became my best friend. My lover. My companion. And now, almost a year and a half later, I'm marrying him.

I hate to say it, but that sweet man in Florence was right.

the bachlorette party

What happens when you put all my girlfriends, my cousin, my mother and a few people who don't really know me that well in the same house to celebrate my bachlorette party?

Well, I probably can't tell you EVERYTHING that happens, but in a nutshell, my bachlorette party has now been officially labeled.... "The Penis Party". We're talking crazy shit people... I'm not kidding. There were things at this party that i have never seen before. Penis gummies (like gummy bears but in the shape of penises), one rather large penis cake with hairy balls (LOL), and a fun game of pin-the-penis-on-the-cowboy (which coincidentally had a picture of Rob's face on it). My friend polly even went as far as carving carrots into penises for the veggie platter.

OY!

And because it is rather common knowledge that Rob and I are dilegently working hard in the bedroom to concieve, everyone was kind enough to purchase some gifts for us. Most of it was gorgeous lingerie, but then there was stuff like "the turkey baster" and "pregnancy tests" and bottles of liquor LOL. Oh and we cant forget the "banana hammock" (don't ask) and the chocolate nipple pasties. It was all very insane.

The whole evening was nice, except for the part where every woman in the room got to help me practice for my make up for the wedding day.... BLINDFOLDED. I was laughing so hard that my mom got black lipstick on my teeth. LOL. We also had a rather interesting game of "put the broomstick in the toiletpaper hole" and of course everyone went around the room and told crazy stories about me.

My favorite part was the Astrologer. We hired an astrologer and each of us had about 20 minutes with her throughout the evening. She told me some interesting things, and mostly concentrated on Rob and I as a match. She was SPOT ON with 99% of what she said and I offered no previous information to her whatsoever. The other girls also thought she was quite accurate.

By the end of the night i was exhausted and when Rob arrived home, we retired to the bedroom. The next morning, Rob and I were lying in bed and as I adjusted my pillow, Rob said he saw something underneath it. This is probably the only SAFE picture I have that I can share in this public forum, but i thought it would funny. That's right ladies... its a banana. There were also several penis gummies on several windows in the house and on the glass in some picture frames.

All i can say is.....Revenge is Sweet.