4am wake up call

Not sure what this is about, but the last few weeks I have been waking up between 3am and 4am. There's no rhyme or reason to it really and its starting to get old. I never sleep through night anymore as it is because of my frequent trips to the bathroom (which by the way, im actually getting used to as strange as that sounds).

I only remember two other times in my life when i had this "wake up" problem in the middle of the night.

1. when i was going through my divorce. I wasn't sleeping very well back then. I was living with my parents and it was just a heightened emotional time in my life.

2. when i came back from Europe. It took me like 3 weeks to adjust back to our time zone. I would pass out every night at 6pm and wake up 8 or so hours later fully rested and ready to take on the world. I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep so early but it was really hard not to.

So i suppose this middle of the night fiasco is somewhat related to a heightened emotional experience lately. Im having a baby. Things have been stressful at work. And the whole thing with my grandparents has beencrazy. Its complicated.

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Im starting to feel my stomach grow. Well its not that i feel it grow, its that i can't really lean forward without putting added pressure on my stomach or bladder. Quite frequently I end up with heartburn because of it or i just have this uncomfortable pressure (like i ate too much kinda thing).

Speaking of eating... I have had the priveledge of being mostly nausea free the last 2 days. A big deal for me. I even ate a cheeseburger and tomorrow im going to have baked clams at the Yacht Club clam bake. Now is the time when i need to be more mindful of what i eat, I know it! This is when it could get out of hand. I'll probably start slowly cutting back on the all the carbs soon, though Im not quite comfortable with it just yet. Its only been two days but i guess im just excited because i see the end in sight!

Rob is so into this baby thing. And im so grateful. He's been so patient with me its not even funny. Ive been in a raunchy mood lately and he just takes it with a grain of salt (unlike other people we wont discuss). And every night when we get into bed ... we talk...watch TV...snuggle a little... and when he kisses me goodnight he reaches over with his hand and pats a kiss on my belly.

"say good night to your daughter"....i would say to him. (yes, i said daughter and no i dont know what it is for sure!)

He would smile, kiss his fingers and gently place them on my stomach.

Tonight i actually let him feel how my stomach is getting a little harder. You can kind of feel it under all the belly fat! LOL. He even commented on it the other night when he was kissing "her" good night with his normal finger kiss.

Life will never be the same once our little pumpkin comes along. Sleep will never be the same. Our days will not be our own anymore. And we welcome this challenge with open arms. We look forward to the ups and downs of parenting knowing it will be one of the most important things we do as human beings.

:::burp:::: here comes the heartburn. I need to figure out the right way to sit in my chair from now on.