hi, out there!

We paid another visit to the doctor last night. I have a sonogram printout but it came out really crappy. I'll try to scan it tonight and see what happens.

Anyway, we went in for the results of all my blood work. Everything looks awesome. No signs of infection, my sugar was great, and the genetic tests they did claimed i was low risk. Outstanding news all around.

The doctor pulled out one of his little gadgets and promptly stuck it on my belly.

and suddenly.....a heartbeat... pounding loud and clear... bahdum bahdum bahdum bahdum... like a horse galloping across the field...very very very cool!

The sonograms never cease to amaze me. Each time the baby more than doubles in size (now 3 inches long) and i always seem to shed a tear or two when i see my little one wiggling around inside me, especially since i cant quite feel anything yet. It's the most awesome emotional feeling in the world. The coolest part was watching my baby wiggle his/her little fingers... like he/she was waving to us from inside!

"Hi mom and dad! I cant wait to meet you! but dont get to comfortable...im coming out with an agenda to keep you up all night and cry at every opportune moment and basically torture you for the rest of your life".

My response?

"That's ok little one. We'll love you every day, for the rest of our lives, no matter what!"

St James General Store

I recently had a photo shoot at the St James General Store. Have you ever been there? It's a pretty cool place. Here are a couple of shots from the shoot.

sigh

The last week or so has been a whirlwind around here.

A few months ago I volunteered to organize our 60 person family reunion. Not much to it really... I just needed to maintain communications with my family and deligate food items etc to each of them. It was relatively easy on my end, at least up until the week before, but stress free for the most part.

We had 8 family member staying at our house from Thursday through Monday morning. The count included 4 teenage boys, a 6 year old girl and 3 adults. It was quite a houseload but again, relatively stress free. They were self-sufficient and very helpful around the house. The boys were quiet and the 6 year old was well behaved.

I also spent several hours in the kitchen on Friday afternoon making a wonderful Argentinian treat called empanadas. My dad used to make them with my great grandmother and a few years ago he taught me how to make them so i can pass it down to my kids (something i definitely plan on doing). So now I drag my dad out on Christmas Eve or the day before Christmas Eve to spend the day cooking. It's great bonding time with him...and I treasure every moment. Its so awesome to see the joy on his face and hear all the stories about my Great Grandma.

In case you're wondering....empanadas are like a meat pie filled with chopped meat, onions, boiled egg, cayan pepper, garlic and other spices. Rob and I have been adjusting the recipe and experimenting the last few times we made them...so the new secret ingredient is pimentos.

SEVERAL hours... i slaved in the heat of the kitchen on Friday. When Rob got home from work he took over so i could lay down for a bit. In the end... we made about 70-80 empanadas (including 20 turkey empanadas for my sister in-law who doesnt eat red meat). Wouldn't you know... EVERY SINGLE one of them was eaten at the reunion!!!

I love making them but I only really do it twice a year extensively. Once at our annual family reunion and the other during Christmas. They remind me of my Great Grandmother who died when i was about 10-11 years old. I didnt get a chance to know her too well (mostly because she only spoke Spanish - and i didnt!), but she was a fabulous cook and she was always giving her great grandchildren gifts "to remember her by".

The reunion went really well. Even Grandma, in her constant state of confusion, did really well. We stuck her a quiet part of the yard with some of the older folks and most people know she requires a peaceful environment to maintain a happy disposition. And considering the fact that this will probably be my Grandfather's last reunion (he has cancer), spirits were relatively high and jovial.

And as most fun parties go...we had way too much food and way too little time.

Our house is quiet again.... and although it was a great weekend spending time with family, we're glad to have our home back...

Foreign invasion

Im quickly approaching 11 weeks. Still somewhat sick. Had a crazy episode with my toothbrush this week. I'll spare you the details...really!

My belly is getting big. YOU may not be able to really see it but dammit i feel it. Its like a cantalope inside my stomach. It's getting hard for me to sit at my desk....my back is starting to hurt... and bend over to pick something up? Forget it. It's a strange feeling though. It's like nothing i ever experienced before.

Ive always been on the heavy side (except right before puberty which was ages and ages ago... :::sigh:::) and so i've always had a heavy midsection... It's come and gone over the years, but we are definitely on an upswing here folks. My body is not my own anymore. It's wonderfully terrifying.

And just as I begin to physically feel the effects of our "honeymoon love", panic has set in.

Im having a baby.

What the hell am i doing?

Am i nuts?

When exactly did i convince myself that this is what i wanted and have always wanted my whole life? Ive been feeling so miserable the first few weeks that I just want all this to be over.

BUT...

Then i remember... for this to be over requires the birth of a small child promptly placed in my care... forever. FOREVER!!! Thats the way these things work apparently. You cant just be pregnant and then move on with your life after 9 months. Silly me! Where do i get these ideas from?

Thank God i have my panic button to keep me company...

Our little munchkin!

10 weeks and 2 days old.... still going... still growing... In fact, "she" wouldn't sit still for her portrait! She was wiggling all over the place! She was a welcome site after a tiff between mommy and daddy in the Tanger parking lot! Hey... @#$* happens. I still love him and he still adores me and what's most important, we love our little munchkin!

4am wake up call

Not sure what this is about, but the last few weeks I have been waking up between 3am and 4am. There's no rhyme or reason to it really and its starting to get old. I never sleep through night anymore as it is because of my frequent trips to the bathroom (which by the way, im actually getting used to as strange as that sounds).

I only remember two other times in my life when i had this "wake up" problem in the middle of the night.

1. when i was going through my divorce. I wasn't sleeping very well back then. I was living with my parents and it was just a heightened emotional time in my life.

2. when i came back from Europe. It took me like 3 weeks to adjust back to our time zone. I would pass out every night at 6pm and wake up 8 or so hours later fully rested and ready to take on the world. I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep so early but it was really hard not to.

So i suppose this middle of the night fiasco is somewhat related to a heightened emotional experience lately. Im having a baby. Things have been stressful at work. And the whole thing with my grandparents has beencrazy. Its complicated.

_____


Im starting to feel my stomach grow. Well its not that i feel it grow, its that i can't really lean forward without putting added pressure on my stomach or bladder. Quite frequently I end up with heartburn because of it or i just have this uncomfortable pressure (like i ate too much kinda thing).

Speaking of eating... I have had the priveledge of being mostly nausea free the last 2 days. A big deal for me. I even ate a cheeseburger and tomorrow im going to have baked clams at the Yacht Club clam bake. Now is the time when i need to be more mindful of what i eat, I know it! This is when it could get out of hand. I'll probably start slowly cutting back on the all the carbs soon, though Im not quite comfortable with it just yet. Its only been two days but i guess im just excited because i see the end in sight!

Rob is so into this baby thing. And im so grateful. He's been so patient with me its not even funny. Ive been in a raunchy mood lately and he just takes it with a grain of salt (unlike other people we wont discuss). And every night when we get into bed ... we talk...watch TV...snuggle a little... and when he kisses me goodnight he reaches over with his hand and pats a kiss on my belly.

"say good night to your daughter"....i would say to him. (yes, i said daughter and no i dont know what it is for sure!)

He would smile, kiss his fingers and gently place them on my stomach.

Tonight i actually let him feel how my stomach is getting a little harder. You can kind of feel it under all the belly fat! LOL. He even commented on it the other night when he was kissing "her" good night with his normal finger kiss.

Life will never be the same once our little pumpkin comes along. Sleep will never be the same. Our days will not be our own anymore. And we welcome this challenge with open arms. We look forward to the ups and downs of parenting knowing it will be one of the most important things we do as human beings.

:::burp:::: here comes the heartburn. I need to figure out the right way to sit in my chair from now on.