just for giggles

Shhhhh its a secret...

I was home alone today and...just for giggles... i put my wedding dress on and twirled around a few times.

Hope you all had as wonderful of a Christmas as I did.

making memories

The whole weekend was, in fact, a very relaxing, inspiring, and loving one. There are so many things I will treasure... OTHER THAN all the wonderful gifts I recieved, because after all... Christmas isn't about the gifts (and i truly believe that, having spent a few Christmas's without them).

This was our(Rob and me) first "official" Christmas together, having only been dating for a few weeks last year, so it was extra special in my eyes. We were (and are) a great team when it comes to planning stuff like this. SO much so that I was able to take an hour nap before everyone arrived Christmas eve. And only one little itty bitty argument to report which was extinguished almost instantly.

His mom and I spent all last Thursday making Christmas cookies (of which I did my duty and paid my visits to both our elderly widowed neighbors with special sugary treats in hand). It was nice to bond with my future mother-in-law and lick the bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough at the same time! It was also the first time I was able to join Rob with his family on Christmas morning. I even had my own stocking hanging on the mantle in their home.

I spent the whole day on Saturday with Grandma making empanadas and setting the table for our guests on Monday night. She was a riot! Let me tell you! Quite the joker - even with her memory loss. We headed into the supermarket near my house and she promptly scooted in front of me saying ... "Here let me get the door for you". I laughed to myself and said..."but Grandma, those are electric doors, they open by themselves". She gave me the biggest, slyest grin and said "I know". She cracks me up!

But i think by far the most significant moment was when she walked into my door again Monday night, looked around and said "Oh, i've been here before... just the other day, right?". It made my day complete. I guess there's still a little something left after all... and I think most of us were thankful she didn't take out her teeth to show everyone.

me and grandma in the kitchen

I didnt get a chance to post these pictures from Christmas yet. Grandma came to my house a few days before Christmas to help me cook and clean and get ready for a big party on Christmas Eve. We had a great time and these were the shots I captured in the kitchen.

Famous in a Small Town

Apparently i made the front page of the News Review this week as one of the "Faces of 2007"!

Check it out!

Times Review

Can you see me(or maybe i should say us)?

Are we missing the boat?

Sunday, Rob and I went shopping. Yeah I know, what was I thinking? But we needed to get a few more wine glasses for our huge celebration next Monday. Fifteen people for dinner and probably a few more for dessert! Linens n' Things had a great deal - 12 for $10. SOLD! But that was one of 4 stores we went to that day.

There was this sweet old lady in Costco struggling to push and move her cart over so that we and several others could get by. I of course reached out with a smile and lent a hand. Selfishly it made me feel better, but isn't that the idea? Helping others simply makes you feel good about yourself. I was astonished of course when she whispered in my ear with a smile on her face that she was 96 years old.

Lady, you don’t look 96.

Well, I feel it today after pushing this cart around, she said.

I tried REALLY hard to keep the spirit alive inside me, put on a happy face and lend a helping hand to those who couldn’t reach the toy, bend to pick up their glasses or move their cart. I truly wanted to enjoy the season and the “shopping” experience.

But as usual people were in a hurry to get on the shortest line, get out the door, to the next store and home in time for supper. Apparently there just weren’t enough hours in the day.

We did encounter a few rude people here and there, pushing their way through everything with their sense of entitlement. I had one woman who was in so much of a hurry she was practically breathing down my neck while waiting on line. I could FEEL her coat touching my back. Ugh. As a frequent theme park visitor, I have discovered there is only one cure for this sort of behavior: step backwards on to there toes – hard - and bump into them a couple of times. And as much as I wanted to do this to dragon lady behind me, I held back and behaved myself.

The worst, however, was driving.

Rob is a fairly non-aggressive driver. In fact I find myself egging him to go when he hesitates at an intersection.

Come on, I so could’ve gone twice.

Shush. I’m driving, not you. (One time he actually put his hand over my mouth to shut me up and to be honest, he was right. It was major PMS central that day. I like a man who can tell me like it is!).

So there we were driving down the road, pretty much going about our business and enjoying each other’s company. And in a matter of 2 hours we were flipped off at least twice, nearly run over by some lady with a nasty grimace on her face who seemed to think the parking lot was all hers and cut off by countless people just trying to get those prime parking spots.

Now I know where I live and New York is just high tension anyway. Admit it; even the most rural areas on the North Fork have more wired-up people than the back roads of Kentucky.

But seriously are we missing the boat?

This time of year is for holiday cheer, love, family, friends, giving….what happened to us?

I think next year I’ll just sit comfy at my desk browsing Amazon and wait patiently for my gifts to arrive at my door step.

time

Two girls from my high school lost their fathers this year and i feel like time is slipping away. Can't we spend more time together? Call me!

slush much?

Life does not stop

Though life does not stop
For me or for you
In my head I’ve been gone
Trapped in solitude

Ten years have passed
And suddenly I wake
Looking back down that road
Many mistakes I have made

Some were my fault
Others...not so much
But what counts is my life
Brand new and retouched

Though I have learned
many lessons in life
By far the most valued
Is how to be a better wife

I’m now seeing clearer
And before me lies gold
But one look in the mirror
And suddenly I’m old

For though my mind
Was on hold all those years
The world kept moving
And suddenly I was in arrears

A few more wrinkles
And tired eyes will show
that life does not stop
Even if you desire it so

But my appreciation for time
Has grown and grown
I will never again
Take for granted this milestone

Happy Holidays

Whatever you celebrate.... celebrate with love.

I get to do cool stuff!

In my work i get to do the coolest things!

This week I spent four days in Niagara Falls and I swore, since our hotel was only a 1/4 mile away, I would hike to see it at night no matter what! On our way to the hotel we could see the mist rising up from the Falls at least a mile or two away. It was inspiring! So I brought my gloves, hat, scarf, and winter coat to bundle up and this is what i saw. I had never seen the falls at night, all lit up. It was gorgeous! Breathtaking. Humbling.



The other part of my job is meeting great people. I've had the privilege of meeting both President Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton. I've met Eliot Spitzer - our current Governor - before he was Governor. I met Pete Seger two summers ago...even bought him an ice cream. But probably one of the most unique experiences was meeting Doug Wheelock. Doug is one of the astronauts who just returned from space about 4 weeks ago. He and his team made an emergency repair on the international space station. Doug spoke to our group on the importance of teamwork. Very inspiring! What a privilege. PS. the woman to the left is a woman who knows how to grow GREAT sweet corn!

etiquette

I've been listening to a mountain of etiquette nightmares from friends and family... how they HAD to do it because "that's what was expected". It's quite entertaining. I took clippings of some stuff i found and also embellished from what i read.



If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father’s financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl’s father or her guardian, and ask his consent.

Pretty straight forward stuff... read on....

If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father’s approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes.

Did you know... As soon as the young woman’s father accepts the engagement, etiquette demands that the parents of the bridegroom-elect call at once (within twenty-four hours) upon the parents of the bride-to-be. If illness or absence prevents one of them, the other must go alone. If the young man is an orphan, his uncle, aunt or other nearest relative should go in the parents’ place. Not even deep mourning can excuse the failure to observe this formality.

It is doubtful if he who carries a solitaire ring enclosed in a little square box and produces it from his pocket upon the instant that she says “Yes,” exists outside of the moving pictures! As a matter of fact, the accepted suitor usually consults his betrothed’s taste—which of course may be gratified or greatly modified, according to the length of his purse—or he may, without consulting her, buy what ring he chooses.

It's always been my belief that when a man presents you with a ring to marry him, you accept it as a gift of love. Apparently i was wrong....atleast according to proper ettiquette! Now don't get me wrong....I LOVE my ring and i wouldn't dream of changing it... especially with the family heirlooms in it.

Usually a few days before the formal announcement—and still earlier for letters written abroad or to distant States—both young people write to their aunts, uncles, and cousins, and to their most intimate friends, of their engagement, asking them not to tell anyone until the determined date. As soon as they receive the news, all the relatives of the groom-elect must call on the bride. She is not “welcomed by the family” until their cards, left upon her in person, assure her so. She must, of course, return all of these visits, and as soon as possible.

Did you know....that no engagement announcement should ever be made if someone is still legally married. (I'll refrain from name-calling... but i just couldnt help but mention this one in particular ::wink wink:::!)

Did you know that....Brides are expected to stay at their wedding exactly 3 hours... no more... no less. Or that no one is to leave the wedding before the bride and groom and if there is an emergency, they must at least stay until the cake is served.

Etiquette is a facinating thing. Don't you think?

busted

I know.
I know all about it.
I caught you in your little game.
A life of deceit and lies.
It was completely unintentional,
my little discovery,
but you didn't exactly hide it well.
I must admit, I suspected as much,
Though I don’t know what to do with this information.
I would hate to see "others" hurt,
But I do feel your pain.
I get it.
But why continue down that dark road?
Move on.
I’ll still love you.
And perhaps it's time for you to love you too...

New Endeavors

Wow! Really? November 2nd?

Time flies... when you're busy!

I've been busy trying to build my home based business. Well, there are a couple of them actually. I do offer my photography services and right now my main focus is dipping into some of the professional headshots business. It seems, after a lot of research, so is every other photographer on Long Island. So, although I continue to promote myself through a few avenues, I am moving on to other potential sources of extra income, including travel planning.

Yup, that's right. I am training to be a travel agent. I've always had a knack for planning trips, doing all the research, asking the right questions.... etc. Heck i mapped out my month-long Europe trip pretty much on my own (had a little help finding the right tour in Italy). I have always been the go-to girl when it came to finding a hotel or the right price for airline tickets or restaurants in foreign cities. Now its time for me to offer my services to the world.

I'll be working through a well-established, professional agency on Long Island, who, as they say "go the extra mile" to serve their clients.

SOOOOOooooo... Anyone need to book a trip?

Email me at: Natasha@Travelsolutionsusa.com

PS. I'm heading out of town for a few days - starting Friday... Hallalujah for vacations!

Dear God

Dear God,

Freewill SUCKS! Take it back!

Yours truly,

me

she has no idea

"Look Grandma. Look," showing off my new piece of sparkle hugging my left ring-finger.

"Wow, how pretty".

But her eyes told a different story. The significance of this gift from Rob to me was lost somewhere in her brain...the connection wasnt made. She had no idea that it was an engagement ring.

To her it was no more than a "christmas" or "birthday" gift from Rob because, you see, to her, we are already married.

Several months ago we stopped by for dinner. The evening was enjoyable. Grandma was a load of laughs. And even Grandpa had a few good laughs, told a few good stories and overall enjoyed the company of his grandchildren.

As we packed up to leave....

"Grandma, could you help Rob carry this out to the car?".

I eyed Rob and he understood. I wanted to talk to Grandpa alone for a moment.. about Grandma.

"Sure".

---

After a few moments, Grandpa and I joined them out near the car. Grandma wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big warm hug --- at least some things dont change!

We said our goodbyes and drove away.

"You're Grandma is funny."

"yeah, isnt she? I mean most of it is the disease, but she can be entertaining at times".

"She gave me a big hug"

Rob had only met her a handful of times. We weren't even living together at that time.

"arent they the greatest hugs ever?"

"Well, she said to me 'I'm so glad you married my Tashie'".

"no way!"


We had a good laugh about it and, secretly, i was glad to know I had Grandma's approval. So when the moment actually happened.. when Rob asked me for my hand.. it broke my heart that she couldn't share the enjoyment of my engagement with me...that she had no idea of the scope of my life up to this point...that she probably doesn't even remember my ex-husband (who was in my life for 10+ years)...what I had gone through in the last two years... and how much i have turned my life around.

On the outside I may appear to be "clinical and open-minded" about Grandma's disease...that even though she is slowly losing her mind there was still a way for her to enjoy her life in "her" reality....whatever or wherever that may be...

But I am still deeply saddened knowing that if she lives long enough, she will never fully appreciate the significance of holding my child in her arms.

And i believe at that point, i will finally break down and cry for the woman who used to be my Grandma.

engagement photos

These were four of my favorites out of 123 to choose from. I'm really glad we hired this photographer. She captures us very well.

Finalizing the big stuff

Anyone have a DJ they can recommend?

people you think you know

You think you know someone... but then you see their soul and discover their much more beautiful than you thought.

Thank you for sharing Toni. And I LIVE that saying.. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

Class Photo

Here's a photograph of my whole class with our teacher.
Class ends next week! It's been great!

it's not the picture

it's how he sees me... I honestly never thought love could be this strong.

key thoughts!

Apparently I am suffering from Beal, a term six talks about in his latest post. Call it laziness. Call it distraction. Call it pure exhaustion. Call it whatever you want. My thought process is just not very creative right now, so here are the key points:

1. I bought my wedding dress on Monday. Yeah i know. But i honestly didnt think i would find it on day 1 of the search. Rob's mom helped me pick it out. I think she was happy that i invited her. She's nice. I'm not posting pictures because I dont want Rob to accidently see. If you know my email (Toni and Nan do), then email me and i will send a picture.

2. I am promoting about 8 different events in the next 12 weeks. Its exhausting trying to keep track of everything so i had to print out my Outlook calendar and literally tape it to the wall next to me so i can make sure i stay on track.

3. My photography class is going well. We did studio portraits today, but i volunteered to be the model since i know about portrait lighting a little.

4. I miss my honey. He's at class until 11pm.

5. I still cant stop looking at my ring!

6. One of Rob's saltwater fish died last week and I have actually been kind of sad about it! LOL.

7. We are having a pampered chef party a week from Friday and the downstairs bathroom isnt done. The house is also a major disaster area - like a tornado went through or something.

8. We have no groceries. Before class today we both munched on microwaved hotdogs (no bun).

9. I've been busy collecting addresses for the wedding invitations, which we may actually print ourselves.

10. I'm going upstairs to fold laundry, then climb into bed and wait for da man!


TADA! 10 things about my life right now!

Are you still reading?

Sucker!!

I bet you thought it was actually going to go somewhere. HA! Fat chance!

Guess who came to visit me?

Ms. Nan Patience came to visit me at the Country Fair this weekend!

The last 24 hours

What a weekend so far. We spent the whole day visiting people, talking on the phone, planning etc. We went out east, on the North Fork, to visit a very dear friend/colleague and then we headed to the beach so that Rob could do his photography homework. Assignment: Portraits! So guess who was his subject? Here's one of the shots he took of me.

Then we decided it was time for dinner. We were dressed for a decent restaurant, so I thought it would be nice to try A Touch of Venice, that Italian restaurant in Mattituck. I had never been there but always heard so many good things about them. We sat outside on the veranda, overlooking the water and sipped our wine, holding hands, as the sun set in front of us. It was a PERFECT night. I probably could have used a sweater, but the red wine helped keep me comfy. The food was amazing.

The Ring
It's GORGEOUS and SUPER sparkly. The clarity of the big stone is amazing. But this ring is not just some store bought ring. This ring has SIGNIFICANT meaning! Rob had a custom setting made to fit all the stones from several of his grandmother's rings (engagement rings and other stuff). We're not sure how many karats it is, but we are guessing about 1 and a 1/2 total. It's getting appraised next week. I can't stop looking at it!! There's a matching wedding band too, which I got to see yesterday and try on. Sorry for the sort of blurry picture. We plan on taking a better one soon.


Wedding Plans
Sooooo Rob and I thought it would be nice to have the wedding at the Yacht Club (in the town where we live for those of you who know where that is -i'd rather not say). Rob's a member there and we really loved the idea of getting married near the water. We were thinking... about a 100 people, buffet, DJ, and the having the actual ceremony on the beach, barefoot (if the weather cooperates).

The Club only books private parties before Memorial Day and After September. So after hemming and hawing on the fact that ALL of next October was completely booked... we decided to go with MAY! HA HA HA!

Yes, 7 months from now I am getting married. Am I freaking out? Not really.. maybe a little... mostly about getting a decent photographer and getting my dress on time! I have a few ideas in mind for my dress. It seems that strapless is in these days! HUH? I dont think so. I wanted something simple, just satin, white, little or no frills, lace etc. V-neck, short sleeves. Something like this.

I'm more excited than I thought I would be. I always thought i would just elope , get married somewhere in the carribean or something. But being that Rob has never been married, we wanted to do something here. I dont think Rob realized how crazy women get with weddings though! 24 hours into our engagement I was already driving him crazy. HAHA HAHA! Poor guy. I'll have to save my flighting ideas for the "girl talk", until we can narrow down some solid options that we think all can live with. The wedding planning is fun for me by i tend to obsess about event planning. I like to get things done - Bing bang boom - So i dont have to think about it anymore. Ya know?



Overall I'm just excited about spending the rest of my life with the man I love. We have been together for almost a year. Hit it off instantly! Dated for 4 months. I moved in 6 months ago and since then, we have spent every possible moment together. And somewhere, sometime this summer, by some chance, I fell in love with my best friend. And he fell in love with me.

ehem... notice anything different???

Riverhead Country Fair

Hey all, every year LIFB has a booth at the Country Fair - and we have moved the booth to kinda behind the Rotary near the river.

Stop by and say hi! I'll be there ALL day!

new lens, big news!

So the new lens is really turning out to be quite an investment. I got to do some extensive shooting with it tonight in class. LOVE IT! Check out my photoblog to see some of the shots from tonight's class.

In honor of Sam

Sam is my cousin's dog. She's a 14 year old black lab who has been with my cousin's family since her first few weeks. We always heard stories about how Sam got into this and that and was always in trouble for something. It reminded me of my very first dog Jenny (also a black lab).

Well, I just recieved word that Sam's health is failing that they have decided to put her to sleep this week. I thought it might be nice to honor Sam and comfort my family with a poem i found. I only hope it will bring a small smile through the tears of sorrow.



A Poem for New Puppy Owners
Author unknown.

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants.
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab my hair...
DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR!
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush,
Don't chew my shoes, what IS this mush?!?
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
AWAY FROM THE LITTER BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT!
(and must you kiss me after that?!?)
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife,
'Cause after three years you'll get back your life!
So let's go for walkies, so you can do your "thing",
And maybe I'll get back my good diamond ring!

random thoughts about how small the world really is

hmm... my fence pictures arent working. I will have to look into that.

Anyway, yesterday I made a somewhat large financial decision. Not a major one, but i did spend quite a bit of money. I invested in a new lens for my camera. I have been unhappy with the outcomes of photographs with my current set of "come-with-the-camera" lens and I thought it might be an important step forward for me to invest in good equipment if I truly wanted to move forward with this endeavor.

Anyway... It was pretty neat. I ordered it yesterday at 4pm, online, with next day shipping, so i could have a go with it tonight in my photography class. I was able to track the status of my package online. It was packaged and ready to be shipped by 9pm.
The carrier (whom will remain annonymous because they pissed me off a little this morning) picked up my package from the supplier in Kentucky at midnight. It was in Jamaica by 4am and then trucked to Farmingville, one of the larger hubs in Suffolk County for this particular carrier. I called and put a hold on my package not to go out for delivery. I wanted to pick up the lens in Farmingville on the way to work.
This was NO EASY TASK and ended with me raising my voice to one of the agents. Not the first time this has happened either.

Well.. by 9:45am I had my package in my hand.

I am astonished at how fast things can move around the country. Fifteen hours after i placed my order online, my most prized posession was in my hands and placed on my camera.

Sunflowers & Pumpkins (not just for carving)

I love harvest season. Especially when it brings the most beautiful sunflowers! Couldn't pass them up at the local farmstand by me. They were so big and bright. I am planning to grow my own sunflowers next year on the side of the house. Can't wait!


We also just baked a cheese pumpkin, one of our ingredients (ok the main ingredient) in Apple Pumpkin Soup. We'll let you know how it turns out and share the recipe if it's a winner.


OH, and we put up a fence today in our backyard. Started at 8am and finished at 1pm. I'm exhausted, but happy, because we've had the two dogs visiting for the last week and they have been quite non-compliant about going into the front yard and into the street. Its a quiet road, but still....bad habits are bad habits. We dont want them getting hurt.

the story of my inspiration

Ok, so this may seem like a strange place to start my blog but...

I was sitting in the bathroom just now, not really thinking about anything in particular, except that I'm loving the makeover we just gave it (but that's another blog - with lots of pictures). Anyway... back to it... i was just sitting there when I heard the TV from the other room start bellowing out a song - True Colors by Cyndy Lauper - CLASSIC 80s chick! Love her.

But even more than loving her, I love that song. It has had a profound effect on my life. It all started back when i was a child of 8-9 years old. My father - always trying to give his family the best he possibly could- took us to Disney World. We spent a week in a cheap hotel, as most of the money was spent on the (even then) expensive park tickets and dining out every night. It was that very first year (or maybe the second year) that my mom and dad dragged us along on this boring tour of condos. Can you say "sales pitch"? We didnt really have the money to purchase anything but my dad is no fool - we went on several of these tours in order to grab hold of the "free" Disney tickets they offer just for listening to them for 2 hours. (These days they have it all figured out with kid clubs that entertain the children while mommy and daddy decide on taking out a second mortgage for a vacation rental.)

Anyway, at some point, my dad's company did fairly well and he purchased a small timeshare about 2 miles from the Disney entrance. It was awesome. Some of my greatest memories were made spending time with my family swimming in the pool, paddle-boating on the lake out back, and playing shuffleboard. Some years it was just the four of us (mom, dad, me and my brother) and some years we had as many as 20 other family members taking the trek with us. My dad will often remind me of those years where he had to physically drag me and my cousin Karen out of the pool to go to the parks.

For years and years we did our "annual" family vacation in Orlando. It was such a strong part of my life growing up that, even now, when my dad talks about selling the timeshare, i put my foot down and tell him he BETTER NOT! I have every intension of taking my children there and making the same memories.

I digress....back to the song.

For years, my brother and my cousins all thought Epcot was "the boring park" ... the "adult park". So we spent most of our younger years exploring and memorizing Magic Kingdom, until of course MGM Studios came into play and then finally Animal Kingdom. We became instant experts on the best way to tackle the parks - what rides to go on first, what rides were worth the wait for a second run etc etc.

But somewhere in the middle of all this exploring, I grew up. My desire for roller coasters and thrill rides relaxed a little and Epcot seemed more appealing with its two separate areas of the park: The World Showcase and Future World. Traveling the world suddenly seemed so cool and what better way to do it then hike around the lagoon and visit a dozen or so countries in the World Showcase with authentic food, people, and faux decor. It gave me a taste of a world (or many worlds) I had not explored yet. At the other end of the park was Future World, a taste of things to come - new computer games, new technologies. It was here that I was inspired, not on a ride or in any of the pavilions, but waiting online for the Michael Jackson 3D movie (now the "Honey I Shrunk the Audience" 3D show for you WDW fanatics). Disney doesn't make you wait online without some sort of entertainment. So, there I was, standing in darkness and "True Colors" begins to play as a slide show of photographs begin flashing before my eyes. The show culminated into a story of life, love, living, growing up, capturing moments and spending time with the ones we love. Tears gushed down my face. I was instantly captured and inspired to do the very same. I yearned for a camera and have had one ever since.

Because of this inspiration, I now have hundreds of photos of family, friends, landscapes, people, pets, animals, flowers, trees, the ocean... all interacting with each other. My ultimate goal? To capture people in their element... in their moment... to remind them of that moment... to inspire them to keep that moment alive... remember who, what, when, where, why and how they had that moment. I now have a website, a photoblog. I have had numerous photography jobs. And my inspiration, skills and desire to learn has only increased as time went on. It's a work in progress.

You know how some things just suddenly make sense? Yeah well... I had an epiphany in the bathroom tonight(of all places!). That song has reminded me that there is a reason for my life and photography is definitely one of them.

My class

So, I'm really enjoying my class. We shot on location last night near a dock and I got a few good shots. Take a look at my photoblog when get a chance.

I really think I need more hands-on classes like this. I can't stress enough how much i have learned in the last two weeks.

Some day I'll be over you

There will be a day
When your presence,
Often found seeping through the very core of my being,
Won't cause that deep pang of desire
Or the jittery restlessness
That makes my knees weak when you linger in the air
I spend my days wishing they would find a cure
Or a less toxic form of you
So that I could indulge my desire once again
And surrender to your fiery seduction
Breathe you in
And release you through my pursed lips

Insanity!

Sooooo.... what a week i have had so far.

I started this class at BOCES in between all my other activities - travel, work, home update projects. The class is great. It's called "Photoshop for Photographers". So far two days into it, I have learned SO MUCH - not just about photoshop but about photography as well. It is exactly what i need to get my technical skills more on target and a chance to learn how to process them in Photoshop.

The picture shown here is my cousin's little one. She has stolen my heart! Check out her "Wizard of Oz" ruby red shoes! I plan on putting more pictures up tonight or tomorrow night on my photo blog from the Reunion, so stay tuned.

I am babbling at this point because i am so over-tired from my 31 hour trip to Washington DC and back (that's gate to gate, people and included a 4 hour reception in one of the Senate buildings).

still alive and kicking

Isn't this change of weather awesome? I love the cooler evenings. LOVE THEM!

I am still here but it happens to be the busiest few weeks of the year for me at work. Event after event, phone calls, emails, etc etc etc...starting with an overnight trip next Tuesday to Washington D.C., strolling into October with our annual golf outing and then ending with the Riverhead Country Fair.

Did i mention i start a class next Monday night and that i am heading to a huge family reunion on Saturday all the way in Pennsylvania? How about the fact that i have purchased a space at a Fall festival in my town to promote my photography?

So if i seem a bit quiet...thats why.

By the time Thanksgiving rolls around I will be THOROUGHLY ready for that vacation in Tampa. Wouldn't you say?

sexy legs

at Nan Patience's request....

top to bottom.

Isnt it great? LOL

what i learned at the Rennaisance Fair

1. Never buy a sausage on a stick and expect to be respected.




2. bring wipes - even if your kid is out of diapers and (3) never put chicken fingers (or any food for that matter) on the top of a child's stroller. You never know if he will grab the top and pull everything down onto the ground in front of him.


4. Never tell your girlfriend that you want a "BIG JUICY PICKLE" from the pickle man. She may try to embarrass you.





5. Expect the unexpected. That includes grown men in jean mini-skirts.





6. Always expect to share whatever food you have in your hand when there is a 2 year old around.





7. Never volunteer for something on stage when a chainsaw is involved.

Photograph Challenge

Check out some new photos on my photo blog (link on the right).

I saw you last night

I saw you last night
well..it wasn't YOU
But he had your crystal blue eyes
And your high brow
The way you look without your glasses
Before you didn't need them anymore
Your eyes slightly tired and sunken in
I knew it wasnt you, though -
He had a full head of hair
And he was shorter than you
Yet my eyes were drawn in his direction
I couldn't believe it
How i seem to know your facial features by heart
And how my mind could play tricks on me
Making my heart beat faster and faster
I tried not to let it show
I didn't want "him" to see
How the sight of you could still make me weak
But our lives are so changed now
So different
You hurt me...bad
You betrayed my trust and my love
But that was so "back-then"
And this is now
"He" is my life, my love, my 'whatever'
He sings my heart song now
(though he cannot carry a tune)
But, by some crazy power of the universe
You'll always have a tiny piece of my heart

Mind-altering all-natural drugs

Last night i was laying in bed with Rob and we were talking about my monthly hormonal imbalance, something he doesn't like to talk about much. I tried to keep it light, but i think his fear of pissing me off caused him to back off and agree with everything i say.It was kinda funny actually!

Lights out. Staring into blackness.

me: You know, it's not easy being a woman.

him: I don't doubt it.

me: Seriously, think about it.

him: I know. I'm not disagreeing with you. I think you're right.

me: Women put up with a lot of crap.

him: I know.


My point was... women are pretty darn tough considering the circumstances in which they must endure. Think about it. Every month, some crazy mind-altering drug runs through our body, affecting just about every inch of us - stomach, back, boobs, head, skin, weight, and mood. Am i forgetting anything ladies? A quarter of our year is spent in agony and all the while men look at us like we we're the alien from that Sigourney Weaver movie (appropriately named "Alien").

Personally, this month has been the worst month i have had in a long time. I feel like i am about to tear someone's head off (and i have a few names on the list right now). The littlest things bother me, like Rob leaving his shoes in the porch. Jeeze, get a grip... even I, myself, am guilty of that. I know I am being irrational, but for some reason, when the mood hits me...

I JUST DONT GIVE A HOOT!

You're wrong.

I'm right.

And you better do it MY way RIGHT NOW or ELSE!


Despite my inability to rationalize during the "MOOD", I do feel bad afterwards and end up apologizing to a few people here and there - mostly Rob these days (poor fella!). He does take the brunt of it because, afterall, we do spend endless amounts of time together, nevermind sharing living space (bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, livingroom).

I dont know. I guess what I am trying to say here is that I am hormonal. I know it. I hate it. Don't ask me to explain it. I can't help it. Don't piss me off. Give me extra hugs and a smile and a kiss now and then. And... last but not least.. I'm sorry... but it's not my fault. LOL.

What's a girl to do?

Step Aside Michael Jackson

This morning when i signed into AOL, I saw this as the headline news story. Its also the top video on You Tube this week.

Thought you guys might enjoy it. Apparently, a jail in Cebu (which is in the Phillipines – I googled it) are using dance as a form of distraction and rehabilitation for criminals… and it's working.

week 5

I don't want to bore you with details, but today i am celebrating 5 weeks SMOKE FREE.

Rob expressed his complete joy in the fact that I had two Mike's hard lemonades at the Ducks game last night and didnt complain once about not being able to smoke. I could hear it in his voice, how happy he was that i quit. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I did it for us". And of course that is true... but first and foremost, as it should be, I did it for me and my health... so that i could have children and watch them grow and ride bikes with them...

Damn this is getting sappy... you get the jist here!

Happy Monday!

the Potter drama

A couple of weeks ago, a few of us went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. We met at the theatre, purchased our tickets, grabbed some popcorn and plopped our butts down in our seats. The crowds could have been alot worse had we gone the week before, when the movie was released, but we decided to wait so it was a more pleasureable experience for all of us.

The lights went dim.

10 minutes of previews and, atlast, the movie began.

Not long into the movie, I became confused. Harry looks awfully old compared to the last movie. Hmmm... I pushed through my digressions and tried to concentrate on the plot.

The plot.... hmm... this plot and some of these characters arent looking too familiar either(aside from Hermoine, Ron, Hagrid, Dumbledore and a few others).

Finally, I conceded and leaned over to Rob.

"um.. looks like i missed the second movie"

Through a short snicker he said..."honey... this is #5"

Feeling rather foolish, i sarcastically spat back at him. "Well then it looks like I missed quite a bit of information".

Rob found this quite amusing.

I found it quite odd. But honestly, it was only through massive publicity that I followed the movies or the books at all. Not really sure why. I guess I could contribute it to some major changes in my life and the fact that, until those changes were made, I was unhappy and unable to find enjoyment in just about anything.

SO after I-dont-know-how-many-years, I have decided to give this Harry Potter thing a try. I am about a 1/3 of the way through the first book. It's quite good, not that i needed to tell any of you "Harry-Potter-freaks"!!

I did end up catching up on all the movies and I must say "The Goblet of Fire" is my favorite, thus far.

spoiler footnote: I have purposely avoided any spoilers... just so you guys know.

Here it is

Woohoo. Pretty cool huh?

Billary on the North Fork

Meeting former president of the United States William Jefferson Clinton was, hands on, a highlight of the year so far for me. Nevermind his history of womanizing and elicit oval office behavior... he was the President of the United States... and I shook his hand twice yesterday during a fundraiser for Hillary on the North Fork.

In a couple of weeks I should have a copy of a professional photo taken of me with Mr. Bill Clinton, former President of the United States and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, possible future Pesident of the United States; an icon in history, and definitely something to brag about when my children and grandchildren are old enough to comprehend the magnitude (which i doubt they ever truly will). Until then... you guys must bear the brunt of my swollen head!



Notice Nancy... no inappropriate cleavage here! :)



President Clinton with Congressman Bishop.

Update for Jean and others

I laugh in the face of temptation!

On Monday, I will celebrate my 1 month anniversary SMOKE FREE and I am so very proud! Who wouldn't be? The craving is still there, but I can, for the most part, ignore it (even under stress). I do still carry around the nicotine patch in my purse, but I havent had to use it since last weekend.

I am almost 100% certain that my success has been riding on the fact that i havent had any alcohol whatsoever since i quit. Rob and I had a discussion about this very topic the other day. I told him that maybe i should consider not drinking ever again, knowing how it will pull me right back into my bad habit. Anyone who has ever smoked probably knows exactly what i am talking about, though it would be nice to get to a point where if I did go out and had a couple of drinks (feeling groovy and all) that i could cheat and have one cigarette for the evening, go home and never give it another thought. Not sure that will ever happen, but if it does, i know it's wayyyy down the line....we're talking a year at least.

Rob thought i was crazy to consider giving up wine. He knows I enjoy trying different wines with dinner and taking note of where each one was made. When we first met, he introduced me to a wonderful French red wine from the southern region and it would be such a shame to give that up. In the end we both concluded it would be atleast another month before i consider sipping a glass of anything.

Day 19

Hey all - 19 days and still counting!!

Withdrawal isnt so bad and I even went a couple of days without the patch this week. I eventually put one on this afternoon because i was obsessing about cigarettes. I even had a dream that I took a drag of a cigarette and felt guilty about it. Then I took the pack i bought (in my dreams) and bent each cigarette. It was very liberating...

but overall, its been a bit of a distracting.

huh??

You've got to be kidding me, right? This is what all the fuss is about?

I think she looks great.