etiquette

I've been listening to a mountain of etiquette nightmares from friends and family... how they HAD to do it because "that's what was expected". It's quite entertaining. I took clippings of some stuff i found and also embellished from what i read.



If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father’s financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl’s father or her guardian, and ask his consent.

Pretty straight forward stuff... read on....

If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father’s approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes.

Did you know... As soon as the young woman’s father accepts the engagement, etiquette demands that the parents of the bridegroom-elect call at once (within twenty-four hours) upon the parents of the bride-to-be. If illness or absence prevents one of them, the other must go alone. If the young man is an orphan, his uncle, aunt or other nearest relative should go in the parents’ place. Not even deep mourning can excuse the failure to observe this formality.

It is doubtful if he who carries a solitaire ring enclosed in a little square box and produces it from his pocket upon the instant that she says “Yes,” exists outside of the moving pictures! As a matter of fact, the accepted suitor usually consults his betrothed’s taste—which of course may be gratified or greatly modified, according to the length of his purse—or he may, without consulting her, buy what ring he chooses.

It's always been my belief that when a man presents you with a ring to marry him, you accept it as a gift of love. Apparently i was wrong....atleast according to proper ettiquette! Now don't get me wrong....I LOVE my ring and i wouldn't dream of changing it... especially with the family heirlooms in it.

Usually a few days before the formal announcement—and still earlier for letters written abroad or to distant States—both young people write to their aunts, uncles, and cousins, and to their most intimate friends, of their engagement, asking them not to tell anyone until the determined date. As soon as they receive the news, all the relatives of the groom-elect must call on the bride. She is not “welcomed by the family” until their cards, left upon her in person, assure her so. She must, of course, return all of these visits, and as soon as possible.

Did you know....that no engagement announcement should ever be made if someone is still legally married. (I'll refrain from name-calling... but i just couldnt help but mention this one in particular ::wink wink:::!)

Did you know that....Brides are expected to stay at their wedding exactly 3 hours... no more... no less. Or that no one is to leave the wedding before the bride and groom and if there is an emergency, they must at least stay until the cake is served.

Etiquette is a facinating thing. Don't you think?