The Grand Finale

Well, it looks like the grand finale of this 9 month fiasco is going to planned out (pending i last the weekend). The doctor scheduled me for induction on Tuesday evening with a projected birth of Wednesday. We're looking forward to the big day and will probably spend the weekend cleaning and preparing for our little one's arrival.

At the appt today, the sonogram estimated baby's weight at 8lbs 6oz. His head is nearly 10cm. Is anyone cringing yet? I am! my blood pressure is with in range but they are still keeping me under close watch. All the tests i have taken in the last few weeks have shown no signs of stress for me or the baby. All great news.

Im fortunate in that Rob will be home with me for 2 weeks, not including hospital time. It will be a wonderful asset to have him around. He's going to be a wonderful daddy. He's proven himself worthy in the way he has provided for his family on a daily basis in the last months.

Rob's parents have been in South Carolina for the last two weeks and their arrival home will be timed perfectly on Sunday afternoon. My parents are still in florida, but my mom will arrive home just in time on Wednesday to shoot home and then head to the hospital to visit. My dad will be following a couple of days later I assume.

We are super excited that we finally have an end to this stage and moving into the next one with open arms and much anticipation. We look forward to meeting this little one who has slowly and surely tortured me over the last several months.

I still feel like this is all a dream. someone pinch me please.

endless dreams

you know how they say if you die in your dreams, you die in real life? I dont know if it's really true but i can say that something similar has happened to me (sans death).

I often have these recurring theme dreams where i am running from building to building or house to house looking for a bathroom. My bladder is almost always full and i'm pretty darn desperate to relieve myself. Sometimes i even find a stall where the door is intact, the seat isnt gross and the plumbing is actually working and when i go to try and relieve myself, it just WONT come out....

....except this one time.

I swear its only ever happened once where began to actually "go". Well, at least in my adult life. I was in my early 20s at the time and man was it embarrassing.

Well, today, i feel like im having a similar dream, but thank god, no bathroom necessary for this dream.

You see, I've always wanted to have a baby and so, this being part of my dream, I have endured a tough pregnancy and now coming to the end, i feel like it's just never going to happen. I seek the end of this chapter with eagerness and anxiously await to start the next. I'm in my bathroom nightmare again, no end in sight...no relief from this constant pressure and discomfort..

....and yet, ironically enough, I visit the bathroom 3-4 times a night these days! Go figure!

Maybe i really am dreaming? Maybe i'm not really pregnant and i'm just waiting to "wake up" only to discover my life is dismal and empty with no husband, no bulging belly, no overwhelming happiness in my heart. I fear the worst, that the climax of this dream will be me holding my child in my arms only to be woken by some strange noise in my lonely house and empty bed.

I know it sounds sad, but i'm hormonal and i cant really help it.

Capturing history

One last picture of me before my belly disappears (we hope!).

update

I have not written in quite some time but most of my blog readers get updates on facebook. Im still pregnant!! What fun this has turned out to be. I have been taken out of work however, due to some blood pressure issues. I was on bedrest all week last week but not I have been given the blessing of the doctors to "walk the baby out". And so i am trying to remain as active as i can these days.

Im having contractions now and then and I even ended up at the hospital a couple of times last week for labor checks with no luck. I was there all day on Monday, and somehow three women had their babies and I went home pregnant. UGH!

Anyway, I was given a wonderful baby shower about three weeks ago. It was so relaxed and so nice. Rob and I are pretty much set with everything... the nursery is complete. The carseat is installed. We are READY but this little boogerhead is not. So we will let him cook a little longer. I just hope he knows he's coming out whether he likes it or not in the next couple of weeks. We are very eager to meet him as is the rest of the world.

thoughts

i feel for those who
miss out on iconic
moments in life.
Moments that define
the future and send
a message to those
who love them and
are loved by them:
abandonment, saddness,
disrespect. Those left
behind are left to wonder
what they did wrong,
why they were left behind,
and how they will never,
ever, do it to anyone else
in the future.
The choice is theirs,
but the effect is everlasting.