Foreign invasion

Im quickly approaching 11 weeks. Still somewhat sick. Had a crazy episode with my toothbrush this week. I'll spare you the details...really!

My belly is getting big. YOU may not be able to really see it but dammit i feel it. Its like a cantalope inside my stomach. It's getting hard for me to sit at my desk....my back is starting to hurt... and bend over to pick something up? Forget it. It's a strange feeling though. It's like nothing i ever experienced before.

Ive always been on the heavy side (except right before puberty which was ages and ages ago... :::sigh:::) and so i've always had a heavy midsection... It's come and gone over the years, but we are definitely on an upswing here folks. My body is not my own anymore. It's wonderfully terrifying.

And just as I begin to physically feel the effects of our "honeymoon love", panic has set in.

Im having a baby.

What the hell am i doing?

Am i nuts?

When exactly did i convince myself that this is what i wanted and have always wanted my whole life? Ive been feeling so miserable the first few weeks that I just want all this to be over.

BUT...

Then i remember... for this to be over requires the birth of a small child promptly placed in my care... forever. FOREVER!!! Thats the way these things work apparently. You cant just be pregnant and then move on with your life after 9 months. Silly me! Where do i get these ideas from?

Thank God i have my panic button to keep me company...