the prophesy

Time seems to be slipping by these days, yet the wedding seems like ages away. Its hard to explain.

One of the biggest challenges is the baggage i brought with me into this relationship. Its so hard not to compare my past with today, even though the two eras in my life are miles from being the same. Its especially hard when planning a wedding. Christy made me laugh one day when she said "you have to do it. It's a once in a life time thing". I just looked at her and said "you mean twice". We both had a good laugh over that one, after all if you dont have a sense of humor about things you did in your past, how can you expect to make anything of yourself in this world. When someone makes a bad decision about something, don't we all say "we're all human"?

Well, I don't really look at my past as a mistake. How can I? My ex is a good guy. We just weren't right for each other. I don't fault him for that and I hope the feeling is mutual. I look at the whole experience as a journey to the life I was meant to have... the one i have today.

I think the hardest part of the whole journey was "life after divorce". I felt as if i was floating above myself.... looking down on this poor pathetic soul trying to find herself once again. Its a tough journey, let me tell you. I've seen friends go through it and never make it out the other side alive; still stuck in their own little bitter world. Its hard to watch them.

Luckily I found the light on the other side.

I remember, some time during my "self-discovery" journey through Europe, I met a man, an artist, in Florence. We shared our life stories as he painted in front of the Academia (where they hold "The David" statue).

"Don't worry sweetheart. You'll make it through this hard time in your life. Just keep pushing forward. You mark my words, You'll be back here next year on your honeymoon".

I laughed at him as he told me a story about a young girl like me who was taking the same journey as me - trying to find herself in Europe. She, just like me, befriended this man, and a year later she returned with her newlywed husband.

I cant deny, my mind drifted off to that dream of finding someone and walking down the cobble stone roads of Florence with him, but I knew my journey was more than just about finding a man. I needed to find my life without a man. I needed to find out who this new person was going to be before i shared it with anyone else. So i put those thoughts out of my mind, picked up my camera, and moved on to the next city with my group.

What i didn't know was that meeting this man and hearing his words were like a prophesy. And just 6 weeks after I returned from Europe feeling refreshed, alive and more like myself than ever, that man walked into my life. He became my best friend. My lover. My companion. And now, almost a year and a half later, I'm marrying him.

I hate to say it, but that sweet man in Florence was right.