there's a soccer game in my tummy

I spent the first half of this pregnancy anticipating the day i would feel those precious little hands and feet wiggle and kick in side me. I was so miserable that it was all i could think of to get me through the nausea and fatigue and whatever else came my way in the early weeks.

Well, now it's here... now that i have finally discovered what its like to be kicked "from the inside". About 4 weeks ago I started feeling little "flutters" of movement in my stomach and like most people on their first child, it was hard to tell the difference between that and... you know... gas! lol.

Now four weeks later... and there nothing that stands in my way of knowing the difference between a kick and a bubble blub-blubbing through my intestines. He's quite strong, i promise you, and for some reason is up to par on his anatomy. I'm not sure who taught him but he seems to know exactly where my bladder is! Have you ever seen a cartoon - like Tom and Jerry - where Tom is blindly stomping down on a box or a rabbit hole trying to get into where ever Jerry is?? Stomp stomp stomp... Until he gets through. Well, I swear thats what this little kid is doing to me. He wants out and i keep telling him its a little early ..... which in turn ensues a tempertantrum... again.. on my bladder.

There have been several sleepless nights for me in the last week or so because this little boogerhead kicks me ALL NIGHT LONG! And I'm not embellishing the truth. I lay in bed with my hands on my belly feeling those little legs and arms flailing about. I've even started feeling when he turns inside me. So last night, when we got into bed, he was kicking me again like crazy so I grabbed Rob's hand and said...don't move. Sure enough, 1 - 2 - 3 kicks... all in a row. Rob grinned from ear to ear. It was the first time he felt the baby kick and in his next breath he said "no wonder your not sleeping". Well... i told ya! LOL. You think i complain for the sake of complaining?

He does let me sleep on occasion, though. Today, on my day off, I woke with Rob, made him breakfast (because i'm a good wife that way) and then back to bed i went after he left for work. Both baby and I slept for 2 1/2 hours this morning. Best sleep I've had in quite a few weeks actually (and baby is still sleeping).

Last week when I went in for my monthly check up, i mentioned to the doctor that the baby was kicking A LOT! I don't know what i expected him to say...."would you like me to give the baby a sedative?" would have made for an interesting conversation that's for sure and.... "can you do that?" would have been my rather odd reply. An awful thing to even suggest and I only make light of it because what he DID say gave me great perspective.

I remember several years ago - we're talking 12 plus years - I was doing observation time at Stonybrook Hospital for my EMT certification when a young lady came in for some sort of treatment. She must have been about my age at the time and at least 6-7 months pregnant. I watched the nurse put one of those doplar things around her belly to monitor the heartbeat and several seconds later we all heard the little thump thump on the speaker. The young girl began to cry.

"what's wrong?"

"it's just that the baby hasn't moved or anything in some time, I wondered if there was something wrong".

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Flash forward to me laying on the examination table last week. The doctor turned to me and said "it must be reassuring to feel your baby kick all the time". Of course my mind drifted back instantly to that young girl in the ER and i began to tear up.

He's right. He's SO right. On so many levels. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of women who would trade places with me a heartbeat. I know this. And everyone once in a while, someone or something reminds me of that small, yet significant fact.

Sure... it's a hassle. Yup...this has been one of the strangest journeys ever in my life. But a wonderful one. A true blessing.... despite the numerous disguises. And although I have questioned whether or not i would do this again in the future, I will never ever regret each and every day this journey has given me. I love my baby. Always have (even before I was pregnant) and always will for the rest of my days!

oh...and by the way... he's awake and back to kicking again!