Well. I've made it 12 days and I can tell you right now, STAY AWAY!! I am so unbelievably cranky and tired. I just dont know what to do with myself. The littlest things set me off and even if they arent little, , in the past, i had been able to manage my anger or frustration with patience and cool-down time. Now i just let it all out. Well most of it anyway. I'm pretty sure i could isolate myself completely from everyone i know if I let it ALL out. I'm sure that's true for anyone. :)
The mental addiction isnt nearly as bad as the physical addiction, at this point, which has taken its toll on me. I know I'll get through, but not without a few rough roads. I can't imagine what it must be like to give up anything harder than an ultra light cigarette a few times a day. I can see why people return to their addiction - willingly or unwillingly - when stress arises or when their mental state isn't stable. Lucky for me, I began this charade with a level head. It wasn't connected to some major crisis or part of a crusade to save myself from .... myself. I knew what i was doing. I knew i could be strong. I had this strange switch in my head. "Grow up and move on" the voice said.... And so.. here i am.
Rob's been wonderful through it all. These days, my life carries on, with him at my side, so he takes the brunt of my shortcomings. He knows I am trying hard and has really tried to be supportive the best way he knows how. He ignores my occasional nasty comment or two. And later on when i appologize for my "out-of-body" experience, he just smiles at me and touches my face or gives me a hug. "It's ok". What have I done to deserve this man? Yes, he can drive me crazy at times, but i guess it's part of the package....and the good out weighs the bad any day of the week!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Out-of-Body Experience
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8 comments:
Yay for you, Tash! You've made it so far!
Sounds like your man has been chosen just for you. He sounds like a real dream! That's fantastic that he is so "there" for you. Keep it up!
Thanks Meliss...It's been a difficult but rewarding road. In fact, it's pretty much been like that for the last 2 years.
I'm ready for a little Nobitchitol or a total bitchectomy myself!
When you find it... let me know.
Here's a cigarette story for you, to help you quit.
So Big Daddy and the kids and I met some friends at a local restaurant to hear our friend play some music there. It was about 6 to 7pm, in other words dinner time. Seating for the music was outside, on the marina. I sat next to the musician's wife. The adults had a beer at the table while the kids had soda and ice cream.
It was apparent that some of the people there had been drinking for quite some time, perhaps at the Blues Festival, we were told.
One dumb twit put out her cigarette on an ash tray on our table. We don't know where the ash tray came from, but we asked her to take it with her. She didn't. My friend and I let her know that she was a dumb twit.
Having finished their ice cream, the kids were getting a little restless, so the menfolk went to take them for a little stroll around the premises. Not long after they had gone, one of the drunkest men in the place came up and put his cigarette out in one of the children's empty ice cream dishes on our table.
We reacted with disgust and disbelief.
"What, it's empty!" he said.
We didn't care. You don't do that. Walk up to someone's table and put your cigarette out in a dish. We let him know that, and we told him to take it with him. He didn't.
My friend threw the dish at him and called him an asshole. I said she was right, he was an asshole.
He persisted in annoying us with his raised-in-a-barn self. I went to get Big Daddy, and my friend went to get the manager.
The man was escorted out. Big Daddy is an even-keeled kind of guy who doesn't walk around (anymore) straightening people out with his fists, but he did reiterate to the man that it was time to go. And if there was going to be a rumble, my little Monkey was ready, too.
See, cigarettes are gross.
Nancy, that IS gross.
I am glad your friend threw the dish at him ..... putting his cigarette out in your child's empty dish is absolutely disgusting and RUDE!
Some people are inconsiderate - smoking or not. Most of it is the alcohol i am sure... which is why i drink MUCH less these days.
ick.
I am in the market for Nobitchitol, myself. PMS or MS or whatever...DH has been taking abuse from me (he's the only one around at the moment)...I don't know what's wrong with me. He politely hinted I should back down today, and I got the message. sigh. See...it doesn't take nicotine-withdrawal to make SOME people jerks. (ah, yes...that would be me.)
Keep up the good work, Natasha! Glad you have such grat support!
oops...that's "great" support.
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