Day 3 and Smoke Free

Well here it is ...Day 3. Still standing.


I bought the wrong nicotine patches (step 3 and instead of step 2) which, in case none of you really know how it works, step 2 has more nicotine in the patch. I was supposed to start on Step 2 and then after 2 weeks go to Step 3. I was going to go back and get the right ones, but then I flashed back to the last time i tried to quit. I bought Step 2 and felt GREAT. Everything was going well ... so well infact that I thought i could go without the patch. WRONG. That's when a series of events occurred which paralyzed me emotionally and of course, i turned humbly back to my addiction. That was about 16 months ago and since then my life has taken a turn for the better.

With Step 3, I am definitely aware of the fact that I am having withdrawal symptoms but decided that it was a good thing. Lot's of little things aggrevate me and when my computer starts to tick me off, I really crave a long drag....or two. Then again, it could be PMS! HA! I am able to briefly sit with other smokers in a non-drinking environment without going completely out of my mind. That's a big boost for me! Overall, it's not so bad that i can't resist temptation, but it's definitely there to remind me that this is going to be a long hard road and that i am doing it for ME.

I haven't told my friend Christy yet (actually i havent really told too many people). As a former smoker, she gives me the most hell about my habit. I was thinking about keeping it a secret and telling her on her birthday, July 19th. I'll be 10 days smoke-free by then. Of course, if she decides to look at my blog then my surprise won't be as effective, but i know she'll be happy just the same.

Just to give you a little background, I started smoking more than 10 years ago and have kept the habit going on and off since then. I had tried to quite several times, obviously with no success. Most of the time I was quitting because someone in my life was begging me to give it up. Big mistake. So I knew this time I had to do it for me and me alone. I was grateful and fortunate to have found a man who understood that process and never once pressured me to quit. That's not to say he didn't want me to quit, because he did. He even gave me hell on occasion and NEVER accompanied me to the breezeway or other "smoking" areas to futher promote my bad habit. This... my friends.. is why I love this man. Well, one of the many reasons anyway.

Do i miss it? YES! But I keep reminding myself how bad it is and how it could really affect me getting pregnant in the future (reason numero uno on my list). I'm not getting any younger people! And some of you may laugh... 31 years old and she thinks she's old. It's not that i think I am old... I just worry that one day I will wake up and actually BE old, regreting many things in my life; Smoking being one of them.