just like her

the strangest thing crossed my mind several times this weekend. As you may know, my grandmother has alzheimers. There's not much left of "her" anymore... just a shell with occasional glimpses of who she was. It's very hard to watch her slowly drift away, particularly for someone who has given herself so unselfishly all her life.

There were several instances this weekend where i thought "gee ..that's just like grandma..." or "grandma used to always do that". The funny part was... i was the one doing those things... things we always thought were very typical of her...and very humormous...

like....

...bending over and weeding in the garden all day long... even though her back hurt. She just impulsively couldnt stop til the job was done...

Rob yelled at me on Saturday morning because i kept complaining about my back and yet... i still kept going...and going...and going... "you just cant stop can you?" he said.

...or how about when i stuck my fingers in a pot of hot water to grab a piece of corn. I recall laughing at her as a child when she did this... and of course, i laughed at myself when i reached in the hot water and did the same thing the other night.

...or how about mowing the lawn. Grandma was notorious for pushing the little mower around her big backyard while grandpa sat upon his ride-on tractor(his throne). She claimed it was good exercise...and it is! After eating tons of crap this weekend and various BBQs etc, I told Rob i really needed to go for a walk last night. He said "how about mowing the lawn instead"!

So there was...pushing the little red push mower (that grandpa bought for us as a wedding present by the way)thinking how "grandma" this whole scene was. The old man from across the street watched in aw as I pushed pushed pushed...

I pushed until rob came outside with a big smile on his face.

"Come watch this".

My son had reached a milestone in his life... he rolled from his belly to his back. We were so excited for him! He's one step closer to his independence. You can see the determination in his eye when he wants to grab something. He's very "grandma" that way...

This thought made me smile as i finished pushing the mower around the lawn with determination and pride in my step... just like grandma.