mommy log - June 27th

found you on your belly in your crib the other morning. Shocked me a little but i was so proud. I did however leave you that way for a little while to see if you could roll back. Not yet i guess.

Aunt Christy also gave us her exersaucer. You seem to like it and your ability to maneuver around in it surprises us. You seem to LOVE peaches but only when daddy feeds them to you LOL. Go figure. Tomorrow starts apple. Then in a few days, pear. I love making baby food for you, but i dont love the big fat burn i have on my arm from doing it! ::: sigh ::: The pains of loving your child!


We also went to visit your great-grandma today and finally had a pleasant hour or so with her before she started getting anxious. She kissed your cheek, your feet, and your hands several times. She LOVED seeing you smile and laugh. And i was thankful for the exchange between all three of us after a few not so great visits.


I miss grandma... i miss the woman she used to be. I miss our walks... our bread baking... our chats about "my happiness". "Are you happy?", she always asked. It was always her sincerest desire for her children and grandchildren to be happy.

honoring a life - remembering when....

Said goodbye to your great grandpa last night. It was bittersweet. He was ready to go to heaven, but he will be missed. I have so many stories to tell you about him. So many funny, amazing, and literally unbelieveable stories to tell you...

Your uncle mike and cousin chris said some beautiful words about him. Here's a piece of my brother's speech, which by the way, was amazing.

My grandfather, Martin Beccaria, was unique, complex, elegant, and beautiful. He was a strong father, a devoted husband, a loving grandfather. It is an honor to be here to celebrate and remember the life of a man who touched so many lives of those around him...even, as I've recently heard, the bank teller at his local bank who cried when she heard the news of his passing.

I was thinking for a long time about how to describe my grandfather to people who may not have known him without spouting out a bunch of adjectives, each losing meaning as you make the list longer and harder to appreciate.

I finally settled on three which I think pull out all of the "stuff" that is grandpa, both good and bad, light and dark, easy and hard and mix them all into one. When I think of Grandpa, I think of Family, Food, and God.

Family, Food, and God.

I think about my cousins and the times we spend in grandpa's back yard doing dangerous things with tractors and fire, those memories in the treehouse made by my uncles, or climbing the apple tree, remnant of which are still there today. I learned to tie my shoelaces behind my grandfather's house. All of us cousins have wonderful memories in that back yard.

Memories of sausages and bread plates passed around, sometimes with a gourd, bombilla and thermos not far behind. And the smell of grandpas house and the heartfelt hugs grandma would give, where you could just feel the love fill you up inside. When I was about 8 or so, grandma would give me these bear hugs and crush the side of my head right into her boobs, practically suffocating me. I'm not sure, but I think we all experienced this around that age, or shall I say height. I wasn't sure whether to be traumatized or thankful for the hug. We all have our smell...grandpas house smelled unique to me. Sweet and salty...perhaps like fried garlic and onions. And sometimes aqua velva, a smell I will always associate with him.

Some of the best memories I have with my cousins are us sitting around telling stories of our grandfather in our youth...there were so many of them.

This past week my cousins had a facebook email exchange where we where sharing old memories with one another. As you hear some of these, I remind you to think of my crazy and amazing grandfather. Perhaps you will also be reminded of family, food,and God:
Natasha:
• I remember a few of us wanted to sell lemonade in front of his house on main street and of course Grandpa wanted to teach his grandchildren good business sense... so he charged us for the lemonade, the water and a rental fee to use his lawn! LOL.
Karen:
• He was the best Grandpa there ever was. I remember early morning Saturday pancake breakfasts with his church friends (Helen & Austin Dawson), attending Word of Life conventions with my cousins, unsafely riding on the tractor with him at 176 Main Street and ALL of us cousins "ridin' the blade" (we have photos of this!!!) I remember all of his unconditional love and support my WHOLE life. He bought me my first Smith Corona "word processing typewriter." I especially remember him shipping me frozen pesto pasta during my 4 years at Cortland. I couldn't wait for that UPS truck to get there.

Daniel wrote:
• I remember his love of his CH-evy caprice classic "now thats a car sonny" ....
I also remember trying to make a fire with mikey and chris and phil when we were YOUNG we couldn't have been 10 years old. Grandpa walked out and decided to show us how to make a real fire..... paint cans and gasoline!!!! the ground was scorched for years after that....

Christopher Penney:
• i remember grandpa and i spent half a day sitting in those cheap white plastic chairs on his back patio... shooting bumble bees with a shotgun. not kidding.
• i remember grandpa brought home a purple (for real, Purple) isuzu hombre pickup to surprise grandma. she hated it so much that he sold it a short while later.

Melissa Goodyear:
• how when we were young, he would shoot the cats who bothered his birds, then years later, he would shoot the birds to teach the cats how to hunt.
Kristopher Mattson:
• Pancakes at the Hoiliday Inn. All I remember is we went on one of his trips and had teh best darn pancakes anywhere. To this day I have yet to have a set of them that would stand up to that trip!
Phillip Penney
• I remember one time going over to grandpas to borrow some tools. As I walked toward the shed with him and my dad I saw the back end of a nice white cat and thought wow that is a little strange the cat is sleeping half under the shed...as I bent down to pet it, I called up to grandpa and asked confusedly "hey grandpa why is your cat sleeping here?"...grandpa looked down at me and said calmly "ooh, he’s no sleeping"....instantly I knew and jumped back.

Shortly later grandpa explained to me that “that Son of a Gun" was eating his other cats food...so in grandpa fashion when faced with a problem, he must choose from some of his problem solving tools such as a sling shot, aqua Velva, dynamite, a shotgun, or more garlic. In this case, like many others grandpa decided for the trusty 22 gauge.



One of the things i am most grateful for, is those last moments he spent smiling at my son...his great-grandson.

Love you grandpa... you will be missed but never forgotten!

mommy's log - June 14, 2009

You squeeled like a happy little baby last night and your daddy and I were so elated! It couldnt have come at a better time. Your great-grandpa is going to heaven. Its been a hard year for everyone, but he is ready and at peace. He saw you smile last week and i could see how happy it made him. He's so proud of his status as a grandfather! I have so many stories to tell you about him! Remind me to tell you about the time he wanted to teach us good business skills when we sold lemonade on Montauk Hwy so many years ago!

mommy's log - June 11, 2009

Started making baby food for you today! Lots of yummy colors and flavors. My goal is to see that you arent as picky of an eater as I was (and still am). We started giving you a little rice cereal and, this week, oatmeal. So far you love oatmeal. Rice cereal.. not so much.

its been a busy week for us, little man! so many photoshoots and now you have taken to crying for a couple of hours almost every night. Not sure what this is about but i had to reposition a comfortable chair under the ceiling fan because that is the only thing that calms you down. I'm thinking you actually might be teething... you chew on your fingers and make a big frown on your face and sad noises. The wash cloth thing seems to help too. I decided to give you tylenol as well when you start crying. I feel so bad for you!

mommy's log - June 4, 2009

well, so much for the sleeping through the night. I fed you at midnight last night and you still found the need to wake at 430am for a diaper change and a bottle! I dont mind. You're still really little so its expected that your schedule is somewhat erratic!

We're sitting on the bed today. Its kinda rainy and chilly (at least for June) and so we are both in PJs. I am folding laundry and watching a special on the Obama's.

You're such a funny little guy... you freak out when i sneeze so i really have to becareful when i let it loose! Just this morning, I had to blow my nose and it scared the daylights out of you. You make such a cute little pouty face that all i can do is giggle as you scream in my arms.

Of course right now, you're all smiles! And that makes me very happy!