It's Raining Men

So after a few months of "swearing off men" I have decided to get back into the dating scene. I dont regret taking the time i did. I needed it more than anything. I really concentrated on making my life better for me - internally. Europe definitely helped me find that spark in my life again and I will never regret taking the chance and spending the money to travel for a month. I spent the entire month reading, writing, learning about different cultures and taking lots of photographs. It was probably one of the best experiences -though scary and difficult at times - of my life!

But now I am home and trying to find ways to interlace this new "europe-stained" me with my "real-world" life. It's a constant work of art, but definitely a task I choose willingly. And now I am emmersing myself in "life"; costume parties; buying flowers for myself; going to Yoga; walking once a week with my very dear friend Michelle; cooking meals now and then (and occasionally inviting friends). Although the stress occasionally comes back, I worry less about the things I can't control and live more of the life I love to live. This doesn't mean i am less responsible. I just put ANOTHER $1000 in my car (after $2000 over the summer) but, hey... it's only money and I have car that works with no monthly payments. I decided it wasnt worth freaking out over. It's a car. It's a credit card. It's money. No one is taking away my ability to love, give, cherish, feel, taste, smell, or experience life. You don't need money to appreciate the simplicity of life. Europe truly taught me that.

So, i really was getting at something other than all this "new life" crap. I had a point and i think the title of my blog pretty much says it all. I have suddenly found myself emmersed in this giddy state of happiness over a wonderful man I recently met. He rocks my world and I dont even know if he knows it. I can't get him out of my system and I truly think the feeling is mutual.

I can't tell you how overwhelming it is to meet a man who values my worth and shows it accordingly. After being dragged through the mud and left for "heartbreak" death, I wasn't sure I would find someone who could appreciate me, respect me, and adore me: mostly because of my "then" poor self-image. It's only been about 3 weeks, but I wonder what miracle has brought this man into my life. Love? I dont know. But there is definitely something there and I truly want to spend all my time with him to get to the bottom of it. I fear the worst and cherish the best, as one should when they are experienced in the art of love and heartbreak. And that, my friends, is one of life's most difficult tasks. Learning to love and give oneself completely knowing the outcome is never certain. "All's fair in love and war", they say. But my elated energy and uplifted soul just doesn't care, because right now, right this second, a wonderful, gentle, kind soul adores me and I plan to soak it up like the sun on a hot summer's day giving all of me in the hopes that my gift will be appreciated.

It's raining

It's raining on my soul
and I've no where to go

It's raining in my eyes
there is no disguise

It's raining in my life
feels like one hard fight

It's raining
It's raining
giving life to new seeds
nurturing new growth
it's what I need
but the pace is so slow

Let the sun shine down
and dry my eyes
fill my heart
and re-new my soul