etiquette

I've been listening to a mountain of etiquette nightmares from friends and family... how they HAD to do it because "that's what was expected". It's quite entertaining. I took clippings of some stuff i found and also embellished from what i read.



If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father’s financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl’s father or her guardian, and ask his consent.

Pretty straight forward stuff... read on....

If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father’s approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes.

Did you know... As soon as the young woman’s father accepts the engagement, etiquette demands that the parents of the bridegroom-elect call at once (within twenty-four hours) upon the parents of the bride-to-be. If illness or absence prevents one of them, the other must go alone. If the young man is an orphan, his uncle, aunt or other nearest relative should go in the parents’ place. Not even deep mourning can excuse the failure to observe this formality.

It is doubtful if he who carries a solitaire ring enclosed in a little square box and produces it from his pocket upon the instant that she says “Yes,” exists outside of the moving pictures! As a matter of fact, the accepted suitor usually consults his betrothed’s taste—which of course may be gratified or greatly modified, according to the length of his purse—or he may, without consulting her, buy what ring he chooses.

It's always been my belief that when a man presents you with a ring to marry him, you accept it as a gift of love. Apparently i was wrong....atleast according to proper ettiquette! Now don't get me wrong....I LOVE my ring and i wouldn't dream of changing it... especially with the family heirlooms in it.

Usually a few days before the formal announcement—and still earlier for letters written abroad or to distant States—both young people write to their aunts, uncles, and cousins, and to their most intimate friends, of their engagement, asking them not to tell anyone until the determined date. As soon as they receive the news, all the relatives of the groom-elect must call on the bride. She is not “welcomed by the family” until their cards, left upon her in person, assure her so. She must, of course, return all of these visits, and as soon as possible.

Did you know....that no engagement announcement should ever be made if someone is still legally married. (I'll refrain from name-calling... but i just couldnt help but mention this one in particular ::wink wink:::!)

Did you know that....Brides are expected to stay at their wedding exactly 3 hours... no more... no less. Or that no one is to leave the wedding before the bride and groom and if there is an emergency, they must at least stay until the cake is served.

Etiquette is a facinating thing. Don't you think?

busted

I know.
I know all about it.
I caught you in your little game.
A life of deceit and lies.
It was completely unintentional,
my little discovery,
but you didn't exactly hide it well.
I must admit, I suspected as much,
Though I don’t know what to do with this information.
I would hate to see "others" hurt,
But I do feel your pain.
I get it.
But why continue down that dark road?
Move on.
I’ll still love you.
And perhaps it's time for you to love you too...

New Endeavors

Wow! Really? November 2nd?

Time flies... when you're busy!

I've been busy trying to build my home based business. Well, there are a couple of them actually. I do offer my photography services and right now my main focus is dipping into some of the professional headshots business. It seems, after a lot of research, so is every other photographer on Long Island. So, although I continue to promote myself through a few avenues, I am moving on to other potential sources of extra income, including travel planning.

Yup, that's right. I am training to be a travel agent. I've always had a knack for planning trips, doing all the research, asking the right questions.... etc. Heck i mapped out my month-long Europe trip pretty much on my own (had a little help finding the right tour in Italy). I have always been the go-to girl when it came to finding a hotel or the right price for airline tickets or restaurants in foreign cities. Now its time for me to offer my services to the world.

I'll be working through a well-established, professional agency on Long Island, who, as they say "go the extra mile" to serve their clients.

SOOOOOooooo... Anyone need to book a trip?

Email me at: Natasha@Travelsolutionsusa.com

PS. I'm heading out of town for a few days - starting Friday... Hallalujah for vacations!

Dear God

Dear God,

Freewill SUCKS! Take it back!

Yours truly,

me

she has no idea

"Look Grandma. Look," showing off my new piece of sparkle hugging my left ring-finger.

"Wow, how pretty".

But her eyes told a different story. The significance of this gift from Rob to me was lost somewhere in her brain...the connection wasnt made. She had no idea that it was an engagement ring.

To her it was no more than a "christmas" or "birthday" gift from Rob because, you see, to her, we are already married.

Several months ago we stopped by for dinner. The evening was enjoyable. Grandma was a load of laughs. And even Grandpa had a few good laughs, told a few good stories and overall enjoyed the company of his grandchildren.

As we packed up to leave....

"Grandma, could you help Rob carry this out to the car?".

I eyed Rob and he understood. I wanted to talk to Grandpa alone for a moment.. about Grandma.

"Sure".

---

After a few moments, Grandpa and I joined them out near the car. Grandma wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big warm hug --- at least some things dont change!

We said our goodbyes and drove away.

"You're Grandma is funny."

"yeah, isnt she? I mean most of it is the disease, but she can be entertaining at times".

"She gave me a big hug"

Rob had only met her a handful of times. We weren't even living together at that time.

"arent they the greatest hugs ever?"

"Well, she said to me 'I'm so glad you married my Tashie'".

"no way!"


We had a good laugh about it and, secretly, i was glad to know I had Grandma's approval. So when the moment actually happened.. when Rob asked me for my hand.. it broke my heart that she couldn't share the enjoyment of my engagement with me...that she had no idea of the scope of my life up to this point...that she probably doesn't even remember my ex-husband (who was in my life for 10+ years)...what I had gone through in the last two years... and how much i have turned my life around.

On the outside I may appear to be "clinical and open-minded" about Grandma's disease...that even though she is slowly losing her mind there was still a way for her to enjoy her life in "her" reality....whatever or wherever that may be...

But I am still deeply saddened knowing that if she lives long enough, she will never fully appreciate the significance of holding my child in her arms.

And i believe at that point, i will finally break down and cry for the woman who used to be my Grandma.